1、 高考英语作文之真实高分学生作文整理好词好句好段(六) 作文题目:假设你是学生会主席李华。你校将举行一系列活动庆祝第33个教师节。其中,展示教师形象的纪录片(documentary)需要拍摄外教Mr. Jenkins在你校工作和生活的片段,并对其进行采访。请你写一封电子邮件,并附上拍摄和采访方案,请求Mr. Jenkins对此给予支持并提出建议。审题这次的作文题对内容的限定较多,也相对繁杂,所以要理清每条信息。可以在读题时把内容要点进行归类: 1. 事件:学校将举行一系列活动; 2. 目的:庆祝第33个教师节; 3. 需要外教支持:拍摄包含工作和生活片段的纪录片,接受采访; 4. 需要外教帮忙
2、:对拍摄和采访方案提建议。然后,可以确定文章大体能分成三段,提纲如下:第一段:为了庆祝第33个教师节,学校将举行一系列活动,因此写信寻求支持和建议;第二段:希望支持拍摄纪录片(工作+生活)并接受采访第三段:附上方案,希望得到建议。适当感谢。拓展部分: 题目中“接受采访”尽管也是希望外教配合的一个环节,但只是一笔带过,可以适当增添些采访的内容,但由于题目明确说明具体方案会随邮件附上,故不应该详写采访的细节安排。写作模式 + 星级句式第一段:表明写信目的 (因何事;有何目的)范文: I am Li Hua, chairman of the Student Union. Our school is
3、planning a series of activities to celebrate the 33rd Teachers Day, which falls on Sep 10th, 2017. The documentary featuring the teachers professional images, as a highlight, needs your participation and support.1. 因何事:The 33rd Teachers Day is coming. Our school is planning some activities to celebr
4、ate it. We decide to make a documentary to show the teachers professional images.星级句式1: With the approaching of the 33rd Teachers Day / With the 33rd Teachers Day around the corner, our school has planned to organize some activities, including filming a special documentary to demonstrate the teacher
5、s professional images.星级句式2:Owing to the arrival of the 33rd Teachers Day, our school intends to hold a variety of activities to celebrate it. Among all these activities, the most important one is to film a documentary, which will show the teachers professional images.2. 有何请求:Im writing in the hope
6、that you will accept our interview and give us support.星级句式1: We would like to photo you about your life and work. Besides, we also want to interview you to make our documentary more interesting.星级句式2: Im writing on behalf of our school to extend an invitation to you to participate in the documentar
7、y about some teachers in our school. 第二段: 告知具体内容 (什么,如何等等)基本要点: 告知对方关于拍摄和采访的相关事宜范文:A group of 10 distinguished teachers including you have been selected to star in the documentary. We hope to film some clips to demonstrate your work and life in our school. Besides, an interview of about three minute
8、s with you will be conducted. The schemes of the video shooting and interview are included in the attachment and we earnestly expect your suggestions to make them better.要点1: 拍摄范文:A group of 10 distinguished teachers including you have been selected to star in the documentary. We hope to film some c
9、lips to demonstrate your work and life in our school.星级句式1: Learning that you are one of the most popular teachers in our school, we are going to conduct a documentary about your work as well as an interview about your life.星级句式2: To be precise, we will film your real life, including the section of.
10、in your spare time.星级句式3: The documentary is intended to showcase the teachers images. Therefore, we need to shoot a short video about your work and daily life in our school.要点2:采访范文:Besides, an interview of about three minutes with you will be conducted.星级句式1: This documentary aims at showing our t
11、eachers work and life , during which you will be interviewed.星级句式2: In addition, we are going to interview you on your personal feelings of being a teacher and some interesting experiences in your work.要点3: 附件;支持和建议范文:The schemes of the video shooting and interview are included in the attachment and
12、 we earnestly expect your suggestions to make them better.星级句式1: Attached are the shooting and interviewing arrangements, and we hope to receive your support and suggestions on the work.星级句式2: Besides, I attach the schemes of the video shooting and interview to this e-mail , so you can know about th
13、e interview in advance.第三段:表达感激并希望得到回复范文:We would appreciate it if we can receive your reply soon and look forward to a pleasant experience with you on the production.星级结构1: Wish you an unforgettable Teachers Day this year and we are looking forward to your early reply星级结构2: Well be much obliged to
14、you for your spending valuable time participating in this activity. Looking forward to your earliest reply星级结构3: Many thanks and looking forward to your earliest reply.学生范文赏析【Version 1】I am Li Hua, chairman of the Student Union. To celebrate the 33rd Teachers Day, our school will hold a series of ac
15、tivities, among which a documentary to be made requires your involvement. The documentary is intended to represent the teachers images. Therefore we need to shoot a short video about your work and daily life in our school. In addition, we are going to interview you on your deepest feelings and thoug
16、hts of being a teacher and some interesting experiences in your job. Attached are the arrangements for shooting and interviewing, and we need your support and suggestions on the work. Well be much obliged to you for your spending valuable time participating in this activity. If you have any question
17、s or advice, please feel free to contact me. Looking forward to your earliest reply. 【点评】1. 第一段简要地交代了事件和目的,并通过引出拍摄纪录片这一细节争取外教支持,很好地阐明了写作目的。在语言形式上,巧妙地利用非限定性定语从句,把前后两部分内容衔接起来;利用不定式to be made作后置定语修饰纪录片,让内容更加丰富。 2. 第二段紧扣题意,说明了写信所求。其中,is intended to,represent 属于高级词汇,连词therefore 和短语in addition 的使用明确了上下文有了
18、逻辑联系。 最后一句Attached are the arrangements 是倒装句的成功运用,避免了头重脚轻,也是全文句型的一大亮点。3. 第三段运用了be much obliged to sb for sth的结构,恭敬得体。【Version 2】I am Li Hua, chairman of the Student Union. Through our careful arrangement, a big celebrating event will be launched on the 33rd Teachers Day. In order to make full prepar
19、ations, I am writing to extend an invitation to you to participating in a documentary about the teachers in our school. This documentary aims at showing our teachers images and life, during which youll be interviewed. To be precise, we will film your daily life, including the clips of working, swimm
20、ing or eating. Its such a meaningful activity that you shouldnt miss. Enclosed are the specific timetable and interview scripts about the filming. I firmly believe that your participation will enlighten the documentary. Any inquiries and suggestions are welcome. Hopefully, you will take part in the
21、filming and convey your true thoughts in the video. 【点评】1. 第一段介绍了事件背景和写作目的,尤其是be launched; make full preparations; extend an invitation这样的高级词汇的使用,更让文章添色不少。2. 第二段开头就用了非限制性定语从句和结果状语从句suchthat,显得语言功底深厚;同时,to be precise 和including 的使用也兼顾到了上下文的衔接。 3. 最后一段无论是开头的倒装句还是其间enlighten;hopefully; convey 的使用,都构成了加分亮点。尤其难得的是,在写完倒装句和宾语从句后,Any inquiries and suggestions are welcomed这样的简单句的植入,使得长短句结合,让文章更富有节奏感,语言更流畅可读。
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