读后续写练习指导：如何推动其故事情节发展（思路分析+出彩表达）.docx

1、读后续写练习：如何推动其故事情节发展（思路分析+出彩表达）原题材料阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the world” the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada. Taking pictures of polar bears is amaz

2、ing but also dangerous. Polar bears like all wild animals should be photographed from a safe distance. When Im face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through a camera with telephoto lens. But sometimes, that is easier said than done. This was one of those times. As Elli and I cooked dinner,

3、 a young male polar bear that was playing in a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled our garlic bread. The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts. Terrified, Elli and

4、I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws(爪子). I radioed the camp

5、manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter（相遇）, I took some pictures of the bear. Elli and I feared the fence wouldnt last through 30 more minutes of the bears punishment. The camp manager suggested

6、use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears eyes, but doesnt hurt them. So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar（吼叫）, the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4

7、. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. 续写思路分析 【思路一】本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗，之后成功脱险的故事。主人公的感情线变化为：兴奋渴望惊恐放松。剧情线以主人公如何与北极熊周旋并成功摆脱它展开。由第一段的段首提示句可知：几分钟后，熊又回到营地。接下来可通过场景渲染，描写当时令人颤栗惊恐的画面，例如“Roars and screams pierced the silence with

8、needle-like shrillness.”这不仅合理地描写了熊的反应，也描绘出让人战栗的场景。由第二段的段首提示句可知：此时，直升机到了。如果想要进行续写两段的合理衔接，第一段的结尾可描写成“After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trotted forward a few steps.”这样可以营造出危急的场景。“我们”看到直升机的到来，感到绝处逢生的喜悦，可以以人物心理描写作为第二段的开头，重点描写喜极而泣的状态，例如“My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to b

9、e saved.”最后，结尾部分需要迅速收束，并说明成功逃脱的结局。关于画线词：Elli作为女主人公，是续写内容中应该出现的画线词，noises, pictures, fence, spray与熊有关，也在两段续写内容中出现。最终，两人回归安全状态，因此画线词safe也可自然而然地出现在续写内容中。由此划分画线词，可迅速锁定需使用的画线词范围，辅助构思。【参考答案】A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrill

10、ness. The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror. I feared that the giant would destroy our whole fence. He roared repeatedly, shattering what was left of the silence. Elli seized this opportunity to take some pictures of the bear. The animals noises echoed all around us. We betrayed our feelings

11、 by huddling together, shivering with fear. After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, he trotted forward a few steps.At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved. Elli used pepper spray again to buy us enough time. But this time the bear be

12、came more alert. He regarded us with the merciless necessity of hunger, so we throw all the food we have. He then turned away and started devouring. As we were climbing the rope ladder, Elli prayed like a thousand times to show thankfulness of being safe and sound. （154词，21分） 【思路二】由第一段的段首句可知，热爱摄影的“我

13、”和妻子Elli处于危险之中北极熊再次向他们靠近了，表明情况不容乐观。而第二段的首句明确了救援的直升机终于赶来，一切就此出现了转机。所以在构思时，越是将第一段写得危急，就越能与后面的转折形成鲜明对比，增加故事性。因此，联系前文背景，续写第一段可以先描写熊的动向和作者的心理，之后描写作者的应对举措。由前文和段首句分析可知，胡椒喷雾并未阻挡熊继续靠近，反而激怒了它。而“我”作为摄影师，看到拍摄对象不断进入自己的取景范围不禁想要立刻实现梦想去拍摄，然而求生的本能让“我”无暇他顾。后面采取的措施可以是作者急中生智，决定和妻子把面包给熊来拖延时间等待救援。而眼看着可怕的熊在不断靠近，面包也即将耗尽。至此

14、，作者夫妇二人几乎陷入绝境。这一部分可以进行生动的描写让作者的心理刻画更为生动，例如“While it was looking like a dark cloud.”。第二段首，直升飞机抵达，至此，可以进一步渲染危急的场景，继续描写熊的动作，例如猛击栅栏。在描写完二人获救后，结尾呼应前文，作者一路有惊无险，成功用相机拍到梦寐以求的照片，不虚此行。关于画线词：Elli作为女主人公，是续写内容中应该出现的画线词，除此以外，spray的提及可呼应前文，交代故事发展，photograph, camera可以直接呼应“我”采取的一些行动，bread是我们想到的解决方案，fence与熊相关。由此展开画线词

15、，保证了故事的合理性。【参考答案】A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. He could not resist the temptation of the bread. The pepper spray had slowed the bear but wasnt enough to stop the beast. On the contrary, it provoked the bear and made him even more furious. Much as I wanted to photograph the a

16、pproaching bear, my survival instinct over took my desire to capture the perfect photo. In a moment of panic, Elli and I decided to give him what he wanted the garlic bread. While it was looking like a dark cloud, we threw the bread at the bear a little bit at a time until it had run out.At that ver

17、y moment, the helicopter arrived. But the irritated bear has already started to whack the fence. I feared that the bear would tear down the fence at any minute. Luckily, the rangers came to our rescue. They managed to calm the bear down and distract him with some sort of acoustics. Even though my he

18、art was still thumping wildly inside my chest, I snatched my camera and snapped one last shot of the bear, a photo that I had always longed to capture. Though risking my life, Ive got the best picture ever and its all worth it. （200词，22分） 【思路三】续写两段中，故事的剧情在第一段结尾达到高潮，之后开始回落；可以推测主人公的情绪呈现出紧张惊恐松一口气彻底放松的变

19、化。第一段北极熊返回后，可以通过熊的新一轮进攻引出剧情，随着熊的攻击愈发猛烈，主人公需要采取新方法避险。例如，可以描写熊再次攻击栅栏，“我”如何使用随身物品应对进攻，保护自己和妻子的安全。同时也可以描写妻子的动作和情绪，烘托场面的危急。通过“我”与熊的动作交替，在第一段最后一句将人与熊的矛盾推至最大。第二段直升机到来后，可以描写“我”避险的动作，例如立刻调转方向跑回营地。之后利用直升机的优势解决问题，如利用螺旋桨发出的巨大声响吓退经验不足的北极熊。结尾处呼应开头，总结作者此行的目的是否达成。关于画线词：Elli作为女主人公，是续写内容中应该出现的画线词，除此以外，fence的描写与熊相关，“我

20、”用camera进行攻击防身，以达到safe的目的，动作描写包含run，危机时刻直升飞机的noises保证了可以击退熊，最终提及pictures呼应此行目的。由此展开画线词，布局合理自然，符合故事逻辑。【参考答案】 A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. The furry giant must have gathered his wits, for he suddenly reared up and attacked the fence with ferocious strength, leaving a narrow o

21、pening on it. Behind me, Elli muffled cry of terror. My eyes were fixed on the intruder. My mind raced like flash as my hands groped for anything that might keep us safe from the bears rampage. Thats when I felt the camera. With little hesitation, I shoved the equipment through the opening as the po

22、lar bear closed his jaws on the lens and then pulled my whole camera out and smashed it.At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. I ran back to the camp, stumbling a hundred times in my haste. Elli contacted the pilot over the radio. Hearing that we had not suffered any physical injury, the pilot

23、 told us to stay put and cover our ears. The harsh whooshing noise of the approaching helicopter spooked the young bear. The animal took a few hesitant steps back and eventually disappeared back towards the lake. Although my camera has met its glorious end, and though all our pictures were lost, our

24、 memory of this unexpected encounter remains fresh till this day. （187词，23分）出彩表达积累单词sniff v. 嗅；闻massive adj. 巨大的encounter n. 遭遇；邂逅roar v. 吼叫，咆哮shatter v. （使）破碎，破裂huddle v. 挤在一起，缩成一团scrutinize v. 仔细查看trot v. 碎步急行regard v. 注意，关注devour v. （尤指因饥饿而）狼吞虎咽地吃光provoke v. 激怒furious adj. 狂怒的instinct n. 本能，直觉irr

25、itate v. 使烦恼（尤指不断重复的事情）ranger n. 护林员distract v. 转移（注意力）thump v. 怦怦地跳；捶击snap v. 拍照furry adj. 覆盖着毛皮的wits n. 机智，智慧ferocious adj. 凶猛的muffle v. 压抑（声音）intruder n. 侵入者grope v. 摸索rampage n. 暴跳如雷shove v. 猛推jaw n. 颌骨stumble v. 跌跌撞撞地走haste n. 急忙，仓促harsh adj. 刺耳的whoosh v. 发出嘶嘶声spook v. 惊吓smash v. 打碎 短语face to f

26、ace 面对面scare.off 吓跑tear down 拆毁pull out 拔出rear up 用后腿站立句子It is easier said than done. 说起来容易，做起来难。（谚语表达）Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. 在惊恐万分的情况下，埃利和我尝试了我们所知道的所有应对熊的防卫措施。（过去分词作状语）He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts. 他用后腿站立，推着木栅栏的柱子。（动作的生动描写

27、）Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. 吼叫声和尖叫声打破寂静，尖锐刺耳，久久未消。（环境的生动描写）We betrayed our feelings by huddling together, shivering with fear. 我们紧紧地抱在一起，害怕地直打哆嗦。（动作的生动描写）After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, the bear trotted forward a few steps. 在仔细地观察了这片区域之后，熊向前小跑了几步。（动作的生

28、动描写）While it was looking like a dark cloud, we threw the bread at the bear a little bit at a time until it had run out. 熊像噩梦般一直萦绕着我们，我们一点点地向它投着面包，直到面包也没有了。（比喻的生动描写）I snatched my camera and snapped one last shot of the bear. 我抓起相机，拍下了最后一张熊的照片。（动作的生动描写）My mind raced like flash as my hands groped for anything that might keep us safe from the bears rampage. 我的头脑像闪电一样飞速运转着，我的双手摸索着寻找能让我们自保的东西，免遭毒手于熊的暴怒之下。（比喻的生动描写）I ran back to the camp, stumbling a hundred times in my haste. 我跑回了营地，匆匆忙忙，期间跌倒了无数次。（夸张的生动描写）