《硕士博士毕业论文写作教程》课件Chapter 13 Revision Style and Language.ppt

1、Week 13 Revision Style and LanguageZhencong LiuContentsw Revisionw Style w LanguageLead inw (1)What procedures should be taken in revision?(2)What are the common style guides that you are familiar with?(3)What are the characteristics of language in academic paper?Revision Revision can be carried out

2、 in the following three steps:v(1)Entire Frameworkv(2)Partial modificationv(3)Language polishingRevisionw 王嘉陵(2003:127129)promotes the use of more operational approaches for revision:w Revisions of view point.w Revisions of methods.w Additions and deletions of materialsw Restructuringw Language poli

3、shingw Finalizing the titleCommon Problems in Paper Writing (1)Only including the relevant background of the research without introducing the research questions and method in the introduction section.(2)No or not enough review on relevant literature in the introduction section.(3)Simply listing the

4、relevant studies in literature review without any categorization,comments or evaluation.(4)No natural transition from the literature review to the research questions.(5)The report on the research methods is not specific enough for duplicated studies.(6)The content of each part in the paper is not ba

5、lanced.(7)The examples and diagrams are not sequential,or without titles.(8)The direct citations form other books or journals are not marked by quotation marks.(9)There is not any evidence to support viewpoints.(10)Errors in grammars and expressions are common.Common Problems in Paper WritingEditing

6、 Guidelines lMinimal use of passive voice.l lUse of specific details.l lConsistency of verb tense.l lMinimal use of forms of“to be”.l lVaried sentence structure,rhythm,and length.l lWord choice:clear,effective,concise.l lGrammar:pronoun-antecedent agreement,subject-verb agreement,sentence fragments/

7、run-ons.l lSpelling.l lPunctuation:comma splices,quotations,titles.Proofreading Checklistl Have I used correct tenses in the essay?l l Do I have problems with the agreement of verbs with the subject?l l Have I used clause structures correctly?l l Have I considered if my vocabulary is as academic and

8、 precise as possible?l l Have I considered carefully my choice of nouns and pronouns?l l Have I proofread the entire essay to make sure there are no typing and spelling errors?l l Have I set out my references in an appropriate format?Final Checklistw(1)Titlew(2)Introductionw(3)Research Questionw(4)H

9、ypothesisw(5)Theoretical Frameworkw(6)Methodologyw(7)Sourcesw(8)OriginalityIntroduction There are many style guides for academic writing,but the most widely used ones are APA,CMS and MLA.Name Definition Usage APAAmerican Psychological Association Guidelines and rules for proper grammatical usage,cit

10、ation formats,or paper writing from the American Psychological Association (APA).used in social science works.CMSChicago Manual of Style Guidelines and rules on proper grammatical usage,citation formats,or paper writing from either the Chicago Manual of Style or Kate L.MLA Modern Language Associatio

11、n Guidelines and rules for proper grammatical usage,citation formats,or paper writing from the MLA.used in works on the liberal arts and humanities.What Style Guide to Use?v lAnthropology:American Anthropological Associations Style Guidev Online:http:/www.aaanet.org/pubs/style_guide.htmv lBiology(al

12、so natural sciences):Council of Biology Editors Style Manualv Online:http:/www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/DocCBE.htmlv lChemistry:American Chemical Society(ACS)Style Guidev Online:http:/iws.ohiolink.edu/chemistry/info/acs.htmlv lEconomics:Turabian(a simplified Chicago style)v Online:http:/www.wisc.ed

13、u/writetest/Handbook/DocChicago.htmlv lEnglish:MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papersv Online:http:/www.wisc.edu/writetest/Handbook/DocMLA.htmlv.APA STYLEw Publication Style:APAw Academic English Style:Language StyleLanguage Stylev Academic assignments usually follow a particular style;here are

14、 some commonly observed features:Tentative Formal Objective Concise VariedTentativenessw(1)Avoid over-generalizations such as“always”and “every”,replace them with“often”and “many/much”.w(2)Use linguistic“hedges”(e.g.probably,seems,might be)to qualify generalizations.w(3)Use tentative words or phrase

15、s such as“tends to”,“indicates that”,“suggests that”.w(4)Limit your claimsbe realistic.Quotations rarely prove anything.suggestsimpliestestifies toindicatesargues(that,for)shows demonstratessupportsunderscores ORIGINALREVISIONThis quotation proves that women encounter rampant discrimination in the w

16、orkplace.Smiths comment suggests how much resistance women still face in the workplace.FormalityAvoid slang and too-casual language,e.g.“cool”or“pretty awful”.Use full forms of words rather than abbreviations,e.g.,“does not,should have,it is”rather than “doesnt,shouldve,its”.Avoid phrasal verbs,e.g.

17、“look into”,preferring single polysyllabic verbs,e.g.“investigate”.Use powerful reporting words:“support,claim,suggest,recommend,and contradict”.Makes less use of coordination and greater use of subordination.Avoid informal punctuation such as contractions and dashes;colons and semi-colons feature c

18、ommonly in academic style.Use complex rather than simple sentences,and long rather then short paragraphs.Avoid the use of rhetorical questions.Objectivity Use referencing to indicate sources.Use impersonal expressions and the passive voice,e.g.it can be concluded that.,it has been claimed that.Use t

19、hird person pronouns,avoid the first person“I,we”or second person“you”.Avoid sexist and biased language,for example,using“old persons”instead of“elderly”.Avoid words that have emotional or attitudinal connotations.Conciseness Be precise and specific.Try to use the most straightforward term and reduc

20、e unnecessary words.No clichs,redundant words or colloquialisms.Use the specific terminology of your subject or discipline.Become a ruthless editor,cutting out as much dead-wood as possible.E.g.Wordy (or redundant)Concisein recent yearsrecentlywith a high degree of certaintycertainin close proximity

21、(to)close (to)is capable ofcanVariety Use a variety of words.Avoid repetition of the same words.If certain word must be repeated,reference words,synonyms or different forms of the word can be used to refer to it without repeating.Use a variety of logical connectors.Avoid the overuse or misuse of cer

22、tain logical connectors,especially“besides”,“furthermore”and “moreover”.Use a variety of sentence structures.Avoid the overuse of certain favorite structure.Cohesive Devicesv Cohesive devices or transitions help readers connect the ideas presented in a paper;they connect and fit together the sentenc

23、es and ideas.v Devices:v Transitional words and phrases such as“therefore”,“furthermore”,or“for instance”E.g.v John went to the park after he had finished his lunch.Cohesive Strategiesw(1)Repetition of Key WordsWe can tie sentences or paragraphs together by repeating certain key words from one sente

24、nce or paragraph to the next.E.g.Notice how many times the words owned and ownership are repeated:Nobody owned any part of the land.Sotopos father owned many cattle,and if the cows continued to produce calves,he might as well become the next chief.Old Grandmother owned the beautifully tanned animal

25、skins she used as coverlets in winter.And Sotopo owned his polished hard-wood assegais.But the land belonged to the spirits who governed life;it existed forever,for everyone,and was apportioned temporarily according to the dictates of the tribal chief and senior headman.Sotopos father occupied the h

26、illside for the time being,and when he died the older son could inherit the loanland,but no person or family ever acquired ownership.Cohesive Strategiesw(2)Use of Reference Words Reference words are those that refer back to an idea mentioned previouslyw E.g.Relative pronouns like “this”,“these”,“tho

27、se”,“such”,and “that”.Coherencew Coherence refers to the unity of ideas.Unity is the quality of adhering to one theme from start to finish,with every sentence and every paragraph contributing to the central purpose and main idea of that paragraph.Strategies of Coherencew(1)Using Transitional Tagsw(2

28、)Repetition of Key Words and Phrasesw(3)Pronoun Referencew(4)Parallelismthe most simple,little conjunctions:“and”,“but”,“nor”,“for”,“yet”,“or”,and “so”more complex signals:“however”,“moreover”,“nevertheless”,“on the other hand”.Colloquial Habits in Constructing Sentences 1Chinese writers often place

29、 prepositional phrases that indicate comparison in front of the main idea.Doing so pushes the main idea towards the back of the sentence.ne.g.“Compared to dogs,cats are nice.”Instead,one should say“Cats are nicer than dogs.”Colloquial Habits in Constructing Sentences 2Chinese writers usually preface

30、 the main idea by first stating the purpose,condition,location or reason first.The logic behind it appears to be introducing the main idea instead or directly stating it would be too direct and perceived as somewhat offensive.nChinese-English colloquial habit:purpose(beginning too many sentences wit

31、h“In order to”and“For the sake of”)condition(beginning too many sentences with If and When)location(beginning too many sentences with In,At,and From)or reason(beginning too many sentences with Due to,Because,and Since).Colloquial Habits in Constructing Sentences 3 Overuse of First Person.Third Perso

32、n is more objective.First Person is so common in Chinese documents(professional or otherwise)that many writers are unaware of this colloquial habit.An exception to using First Person would be if the author wants to emphasize a personal opinion such as We believe,We can infer,We conclude,We recommend

33、,and We postulate.In contrast,using Third Person style removes a feeling of subjectivity or personal bias that the First Person style has.Third Person Style creates an environment in which the author can objectively separate himself or herself from the contents so that the readers can assess the man

34、uscript quality themselves.nWe suggest The results of this study suggestChecklistwDoes your writing deal with the topic that was set?wDoes it answer the question/deal with the brief that was set?wIs the the correct genre?i.e is it a report or an essay or a review?wDoes it cover all the main aspects

35、and in sufficient depth?wIs the content accurate and relevant?wIs everything relevant to the topic?wIs the material logically arranged?wIs each main point well supported by examples and argument?wIs there a clear distinction between your ideas and those of other authors?wIs your voice clear througho

36、ut?wHave you acknowledged all the sources you have used?wIs the length of the text right for its purpose?wIs it written in a suitable style?wIs it written plainly and simply,without clumsy or obscure phrasing?wIs the grammar,punctuation and spelling acceptable?wIs it neat and legibly written?wIs pas

37、sive voice used when possible?wAre contractions such as“didnt”avoided throughout the paper?Assignmentw 1.Revision of a first draft paper given by Prof.Liu.w 2.Evaluate the draft against the APA style and report the major problems.w 3.Please find some major language problems in the sample paper.Assig

38、nmentw 4.Article for a General Audience:Summarize your sample article and do three steps:Print out that article.On the hard copy,identify(highlight or underline)all the features of the text that show sensitivity to non-specialist readers.Write a-page analysis of the authors strategy.w Be sure to pro

39、vide a full citation of the article you choose.Use the authos last name as you explain her/his strategy.Activity 1 vRevise the following sentences to remove the redundancies.a.In grateful appreciation of your patronage,we are pleased to offer you this free gift as a token gesture of our gratitude.b.

40、An anticipated major breakthrough in storage technology will allow us to proceed ahead in the continuing evolution of our products.c.During the course of the next two hours,you will see a demonstration of our new speech-recognition system that will be introduced for the first time in November.Keyw a

41、.In appreciation of your patronage,we are pleased to offer you this free gift.w b.A breakthrough in storage technology will allow us to proceed in the evolution of our products.w c.During the next two hours,you will see a demonstration of our new speech-recognition system that will be introduced in

42、November.Activity 2v Rewrite the following sentences in more tentative English:Recent research proves that all people prefer email to traditional letter-writing as a mode of communication(Mahlab 1994).This always occurs whenever there is a downturn in commodity prices.Every learner internalizes new

43、language better if given a clear context.The governments drunk-driving campaign has led to a decrease in the number of road deaths.International students are always quiet in tutorials.Key Recent research suggests that a majority of people prefer email to traditional letter-writing as a mode of commu

44、nication(Mahlab 1994).w This tends to occur whenever there is a downturn in commodity prices.w Learners tend to internalize new language better if given a clear context.w The governments drunk-driving campaign may have led to a decrease in the number ofwroad deaths.w Many(though not all)internationa

45、l students tend to be among the quieter participants in tutorials.Activity 3 w Rewrite the following sentences in more objective English:I think that smoking in public should be banned.I think objectivity on television is nothing more than an ideal.I found that the vocabulary choice played a role in

46、 determining which topics speakers take up.Keyw There is a case for stricter government control on smoking in public.Objectivity in television broadcasting is nothing more than an ideal.Vocabulary choice evidently plays a role in determining which topics are taken up by speakers.Activity 4 w Choose

47、a paragraph,analyze and determine what word is repeated several times.Then formulate the main idea of the paragraph.ReferencesKnoy,T.(2000,Feb.).Overcoming Chinese-English Colloquial Habits in Writing.The Internet TESL Journal,VI(2).Retrieved from:http:/iteslj.org/Techniques/Knoy-ChineseWriters.html

48、Torrance,M.,Thomas,G.V.,&Robinson,E.J.(1994,Apr.).The writing strategies of graduate research students in the social sciences.Higher Education,27(3),379-392.Referencesw*American Psychological Association.2010.Publication manual of the American Psychological Association,6th edition.Washington,D.C.:Am

49、erican Psychological Association,Chapters 3 and 4,pp.61-124.w*Turabian,K.(2003).A manual for writers of research papers,theses,and dissertations,7th edition.Chicago and London:The University of Chicago Press,Chapters 9 and 11.w*琼平卡姆，（2000），中式英语之鉴。北京：外语教学与研究出版社。w Grens,K.Self Correction:What to Do When You Realize Your Publication Is Fatally Flawed.The Scientist,December 1,2015.Thank you