（2020英语新高考(山东海南)）专题六-写作第课件.pptx

1、专题六专题六写作第二节写作第二节读后续写读后续写对于这种新的题型，考生首先要能对所给的文章有深刻的理解，对文章的脉络和发展的方向有很好的把握，对文章使用的词汇的特点有整体的认知。然后，根据对文章结构的理解设计合理的情节，完成对文章的续写。因此，续写文章的关键是：1.掌握所给文章的主旨意图及故事情节的发展方向这点至关重要。只有把握了文章的主旨意图，才能很好地完成续写。2.正确理解故事的脉络线索和段落结构，设计续写内容的基本框架只有对原文的脉络线索和段落结构有正确的和深刻的理解，续写的内容才能和原文骨肉相连，契合紧密。3.理清文章中的要点信息和逻辑关系确保续写的内容和原文要有逻辑上的一致性，并能回

2、应原文的信息。4.感知文章的用词特点以便使续写的内容在语言色彩上和所给文章保持一致。5.注意语言的使用考试说明中非常明确地指出，写作中要准确使用语法和词汇，清楚、连贯地表达自己的意思。所以，在考虑文章结构的同时，一定要注意使用比较“高级”的词汇和语法结构。原题呈现(2017年6月浙江高考)On a bright，warm July afternoon，Mac Hollan，a primary school teacher，was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friends.One of his friends had stopped to

3、make a bicycle repair，but they had encouraged Mac to carry on，and they would catch up with him soon.As Mac pedaled(骑行)along alone，he thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home.He hoped to show them this beautiful place someday.阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Then Mac heard quick and lo

4、ud breathing behind him.“Man，thats a big dog！”he thought.But when he looked to the side，he saw instantly that it wasnt a dog at all，but a wolf，quickly catching up with him.Macs heart jumped.He found out his can of bear spray.With one hand on the bars，he fired the spray at the wolf.A bright red cloud

5、 enveloped the animal，and to Macs relief，it fell back，shaking its head.But a minute later，it was by his side again.Then it attacked the back of Macs bike，tearing open his tent bag.He fired at the wolf a second time，and again，it fell back only to quickly restart the chase(追赶).Mac was pedaling hard no

6、w.He waved and yelled at passing cars_but was careful not to slow down.He saw a steep uphill climb before him.He knew that once he hit the hill，hed be easily caught up and the wolfs teeth would be tearing into his flesh.At this moment，Paul and Becky were driving their car on their way to Alaska.They

7、 didnt think much of it when they saw two cyclists repairing their bike on the side of the road.A bit later，they spotted what they，too，assumed was a dog running alongside a man on a bike.As they got closer，they realized that the dog was a wolf.Mac heard a large vehicle behind him.He pulled in front

8、of it as the wolf was catching up fast，just a dozen yards away now.写作指导第一步：快速浏览，读懂原文通读全文首先要解决好五个W和一个H的问题，即理清人物who，地点where，时间when，事件what，原因why及怎样发展how。理解这篇文章的五个W之后就能快速了解文章大意：Mac与好友一起骑行去阿拉斯加，路上同伴因修自行车落后，Mac独自一人前行，遇到狼的突袭，好一番搏斗，幸亏此时Paul和Becky两人开车经过，出手相救。至于如何发展(how)？这要看考生的想象力如何。第二步：构思情节，谋篇布局布局谋篇的关键是利用好两方

9、面的信息：1.续写部分所给的两个段落的首句The car abruptly stopped in front of him.和A few minutes later，the other two cyclists arrived。这两句话起到非常关键的作用，无论从时间的先后、情节的发展都要以这两句话作为内在逻辑关系。2.在情节的安排中，必须按照叙述的顺序，继续紧密结合原材料中五个W的逻辑顺序发展下去。(1)第一段写什么？应围绕Paul and Becky如何救助Mac展开，充分发挥丰富的想象，把Paul停车后如何在千钧一发之际拯救Mac的过程写得趣味横生又合乎情理。(2)第二段写什么？弄清楚开头

10、的这两个人是谁很重要，然后依照符合故事情节发展的内在逻辑推进下去。朋友到达之后看到、听到并做了什么。最后应该提炼思想性和体现价值观的传递正能量的元素(如珍爱生命，学会合作或感激等)，以提升文章的档次。注意：第一段和第二段要衔接紧密，相互关联，不能独立存在。第三步：理清逻辑，优化语言这一步侧重点为语言逻辑，词句结构都必须符合当时人狼大战的情景。续写时要按照情节的发展进行延续，写作手法上必须以叙为主，描写上以动作描写为重心，情节的发展合乎逻辑地推进。第四步：以优美的文字誊写阅卷名师点津1.内容方面在阅卷过程中发现，一部分考生没有读懂原文，如不认识bear spray，不理解a bright red

11、 cloud enveloped the animal，没有理清人物关系，误认为Paul与Mac是好朋友：这部分考生由于阅读能力直接影响到续写的发挥。还有些考生描写心理活动和场景过多，缺乏具体描写，导致故事不够连贯，不够完整。2.语言方面从评卷结果来看，考生出现的问题偏向于刻意追求运用高级、新颖的词汇，强行运用复杂句型等语法结构，而忽略了与原文语言环境的符合度和连贯度。同时出现了一些单词拼写错误等。更有甚者用套路作文，这与读后续写的全新创作宗旨相违背。3.逻辑方面(1)违背生活真实。如在紧张的人狼大战环境下，有的考生却写两人在拉家常。(2)人物关系混乱。如增加了一些人物，让故事变得更加复杂；把

12、Paul与Mac看成是原先认识的；有些故事的结局并没有交代如何处理狼。(3)两段的开头语理解不到位，以及两段之间衔接不够，也带来了很多故事上的混乱。比如第一段的The car abruptly stopped in front of him，学生理解为是Mac要求他停车等。4.其他问题阅卷中发现很多标点错误，以下几点需注意：英语中没有顿号，分割句中并列成分多用逗号，如She slowly，carefully，deliberately moved the box；英文的句号是实心点(.)；英文的省略号是三个点(.)，位置在行底。【考场范文1】Paragraph 1：The car abruptl

13、y stopped in front of him.A woman hurriedly opened the door and stretched out her hand，shouting，“Get in！”Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation，leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.The moment he shut the door，he caught the glimpse of the fierce eyes and hungry look of the w

14、olf by the door.A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.However，the car had left the wolf far behind，which made him sigh with relief.Mac thanked Paul and Becky and afterwards they pulled over by the road to wait for Macs friends.Paragraph 2：A few minutes later，the two other cyclists

15、arrived.As soon as they met，his friends worried look faded away.“Where have you been?We saw your bicycle on the road.”His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.After Mac explained to them，they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness.On the way h

16、ome，night breeze made him at ease and he couldnt wait to share his experience with his wife and children and show the kindness of the world.1.这篇文章语言上最大的特色是用无生命特征的名词作句子的主语。整篇11个句子，其中无灵主语就有5句，占了42%。(1)A cold feeling crept over his heart and made him shiver.(2)However，the car had left the wolf far behi

17、nd，which made him sigh with relief.(3)As soon as they met，his friends worried look faded away.(4)these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.(5)On the way home，night breeze made him at ease.这样，同样含义的句子就由平淡变得生动有力了。2.语言上的第二大特色就是这篇文章词汇的使用，如indebtedness等于gratitude感激，pull over表达路边停车，这些都体现了较为

18、深厚的语言功底。3.但是，文章还是有些瑕疵。Mac grabbed her hand without hesitation，leaving his bicycle lying on the road and jumped into the car.这一句中应将leaving改为left，使其与前面的grabbed及后面的jumped 成为连贯动作，也可把jumped 改为jumping同leaving平行成为grabbed的伴随状语；His friend asked and these words like a penetrate of sunshine warmed his heart.此句

19、中的penetrate是个动词被错误地当作名词使用，可以改为His friend asked and these words like a ray of sunshine warmed his heart;After Mac explained to them，they said farewell to Paul and Becky in sincerely indebtedness.此句中的sincerely应该改为形容词修饰名词indebtedness。【考场范文2】Paragraph 1：The car abruptly stopped in front of him.Macs hear

20、t jumped wildly，and he dashed towards the car without the slightest hesitation for he knew it was his only chance.It was a real race against time to make it!Thank god，Mac successfully made the door open and that fierce wolf was just around the corner.The instant Mac settled him on the seat，Paul star

21、ted the car in a flash.The wolf had to give up and find another goal.What a narrow escape!Mac collapsed into the seat and smiled bitterly.The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest.Paragraph 2：A few minutes later，the two other cyclists arrived.Seeing his friends，Mac felt a

22、great weight taken off his mind.His friends were amazed at Macs experience，for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf!Mac thanked Paul and Becky again and again，but his appreciation was beyond words.He said sincerely:“You cant imagine how grateful I was，for I have been given a second life！”Te

23、ars gathered up in Macs eyes when he waved them goodbye.It was obviously an unforgettable experience，and Mac would have a lot to share with his family after he got home.It was his courage and other peoples kindness that saved him.1.从语言角度出发，这篇文章特征明显。2.首先是语言地道，表现在三处for的使用：(1)Macs heart jumped wildly，a

24、nd he dashed towards the car without the slightest hesitation for he knew it was his only chance.(2)His friends were amazed at Macs experience，for it was a miracle to escape from a hungry wolf！(3)You cant imagine how grateful I was，for I have been given a second life!句子中使用for更加符合英语的思维习惯，尽管前后是并列关系，但是

25、前面提供了主要的信息，然后进行补充说明。如：因为李越出色的表现，校长授予他“本周学生之星”荣誉称号。在这句话中，汉语的思维是先说原因，而英语的翻译则是先说结果：The president awarded Li Yue the title of“Star Student of the Week”for what she did for our class.原因和结果的位置是有很大差异的。3.再者，此文章比较娴熟地使用了写作的各种技巧，如强调句的使用：It was his courage and other peoples kindness that saved him.感叹句的使用：(1)You

26、 cant imagine how grateful I was！(2)What a narrow escape！等。4.但是，这篇文章也存在一些不足。The instant Mac settled him on the seat，Paul started the car in a flash.此句中的him应该改为himself。第一段尾句The other two guys decided to stop at the gas station to have a rest.这句话与上下文脱节，起不到承上启下的作用，出现了情节逻辑的问题。5.总的说来，该文章比较好地完成了读后续写的任务，既读

27、懂了原文，又有比较好的语言功底将故事叙写下去。【考场范文3】Paragraph 1：The car abruptly stopped in front of him.Seeing Paul wave at him kindly and open the car door for him，Mac immediately jumped out of his bicycle and rushed into the car.No sooner than the poor man had got in did Paul close the door.The wolf walked around the

28、car and howled furiously at them，but just in vain.Realizing it couldnt catch Mac any more，the wolf ultimately gave up and walked away gloomily.Watching the wolf was swallowed by the road，Mac，bathed in perspiration，sighed with relief and sank down to the back seat.Paul handed him a bottle of water an

29、d he managed a weak smile，murmuring something like“Thank you very much”.Paragraph 2：A few minutes later，the other two cyclists arrived.Knowing that Mac had been chased by a wolf，they were stumped for words and paralysed with fear.Fortunately，at that moment appeared Paul who lent a helping hand to Ma

30、c.The two friends extended their earnest gratitude to Paul for rescuing Mac and then took Mac back home.After such a terrible experience，the splendid landscape of Alaska seemed no longer to be a temptation to them.On the way back home，feeling the light breeze through his hair，Mac felt what happened

31、just now was like a bad dream，but a warm glow flooded in as he thought of Pauls unselfish help.The most precious part of humans is their care for each other.1.这是一篇非常优秀的文章。特别靓丽的地方就是doing的使用，具体有：(1)Seeing Paul wave at him kindly and open the car door for him，Mac immediately jumped out of his bicycle a

32、nd rushed into the car.(2)Realizing it couldnt catch Mac any more，the wolf ultimately gave up and walked away gloomily.(3)Watching the wolf was swallowed by the road，Mac，bathed in perspiration，sighed with relief and sank down to the back seat.(4)Paul handed him a bottle of water and he managed a wea

33、k smile，murmuring something like“Thank you very much”.(5)Knowing that Mac had been chased by a wolf，they were stumped for words and paralysed with fear.(6)On the way back home，feeling the light breeze through his hair，Mac felt what happened just now was like a bad dream，but a warm glow flooded in as

34、 he thought of Pauls unselfish help.共占了12句话中的50%，却不让人感到单调，非谓语动词的使用可以比较地道地表现语言的美。2.其次，文章大量使用了高级词汇，howled furiously at them，ultimately，gloomily，perspiration，splendid landscape，murmuring，stumped，extended their earnest gratitude等等，特别是不同场合不同动作的动词的适当使用。3.语言描写贴切地表达了情节发展的逻辑，采用动作描写大大重于对话描写，读来有很强的身临其境的感觉。4.美中

35、不足的是考生在试图使用高级表达的时候出现了些瑕疵，如No sooner than the poor man had got in did Paul close the door.这句话在结构上是错误的，必须改为No sooner had the poor man got in than Paul closed the door.另外，Mac immediately jumped out of his bicycle and rushed into the car.此句中的out of 必须改为 off。每一种体裁都有其特定的语言特色，记叙文也是如此。记叙文的语言有记叙文语言的特点。那么，在记叙

36、文写作中，哪些词汇的运用可以为文章增色，成为文章亮点呢？下面收集整理了部分具有高分特质的词汇，请细细体会，熟记于心，多加运用，定会让你的文章脱颖而出。微技能一表人物喜乐的高级词汇1.满意的表情a satisfied look2.令人鼓舞的表情an encouraging expression3.既兴奋又开心a mixture of excitement and happiness4.流下幸福的泪水tears of happiness flowing down5.心情愉快in cheerful spirits6.心满意足，非常幸福be on the top of the world7.极为感动b

37、e overwhelmingly moved8.被强烈地吸引be powerfully attracted to9.因而高兴be joyful over/about10.喜爱，对着迷be keen on11.快乐至极be overwhelmed with12.欣喜若狂be wild with delight13.精神高涨be in high spirits14.为成功而欣喜be excited with joy at the success15.被她的美貌所吸引be fascinated with her beauty16.显示出极大的意愿show a great readiness17.乐得

38、大叫yell with delight18.使某人心情愉快brighten sbs heart19.使某人安心set ones heart at rest20.感到鼓舞的feel inspired/encouraged21.振作精神keep up ones spirits微技能二表人物悲忧消沉的高级词汇1.强烈的失落感a strong sense of loss2.怀着沉重的/沮丧的/忧郁的心情with a heavy/sinking/sorrowful heart3.惊慌失措be seized with panic4.情绪低落be down in spirits5.陷入绝望fall into

39、 despair6.悲痛欲绝cry ones heart out7.垂头丧气lose ones spirit8.使某人悲痛make ones heart bleed9.减轻某人的痛苦/烦恼ease sb of his pain/trouble10.因某人的死亡而痛心break ones heart over ones death微技能三表人物怨怒的高级词汇1.感到恼怒feel annoyed2.感到愤怒feel irritated3.感到泄气feel discouraged4.感到尴尬feel embarrassed5.感到困惑feel puzzled/confused6.感到沮丧feel f

40、rustrated/depressed7.感到恶心feel disgusted/sickened8.易为琐事而恼火be easily annoyed at trifles9.对某人的行为感到不满be displeased at ones conduct10.引起某人的不快arouse ones displeasure11.不断地抱怨complain constantly12.气得满脸通红flame with anger13.勃然大怒fly into a rage14.对某人勃然大怒get mad/cross at sb15.愁眉苦脸have a worried look16.对抱怨不予理会ig

41、nore/disregard a complaint17.对表示不满express/voice a complaint about18.怒气冲冲地跑出房间run out of the room in a burst of anger微技能四表人物其他情绪的高级词汇1.宽容的精神a forgiving spirit2.以和蔼可亲的态度with a kind and good-humored spirit3.在这些情绪的控制下under the domination of these emotions4.对一点也不感兴趣be not in the least interested in.5.对彻底

42、上瘾be hopelessly addicted to.6.混合着焦虑与希望的情绪be mixed with the emotion of anxiety and hope7.感到极为有趣find.highly stimulating8.引起强烈的情感set off strong feelings微技能五表人物体型的高级词汇1.中等身材an average build2.优美的/匀称的身段a graceful/shapely figure3.痩削的/细长的身材a skinny/slim figure4.发育良好的身体a well-developed figure5.身材魁梧的人a well-b

43、uilt man6.仪表堂堂be imposing/dashing/handsome/striking7.(人)形体很好have a good figure8.改善形体improve ones figure9.看到月光下有一个模糊的人影see a dark figure in the moonlight10.显露出她优美的身段show off her lovely figure微技能六表人物个性品格的高级词汇1.保守的性格conservative personalities2.缺乏责任感lack of sense of responsibility3.高素质、有经验的老师a highly-qu

44、alified，well-experienced teacher4.光明的前途a promising future5.完人a faultless/perfect person6.天资高的/聪明的人a talented/an intellectual person7.有抱负的人an ambitious person8.脾气好的人a good-natured person9.容易相处的人a person easy to deal with10.有前途的青年a promising young man11.浪漫的人a romantic figure12.说话直率的人an out-spoken man1

45、3.消息灵通/见多识广的人a well-informed man14.未婚妇女an unmarried woman15.时髦的妇女a fashionable lady16.20岁出头的姑娘a girl in her early twenties17.品格纯洁无瑕的女子a girl of stainless character18.娴静有礼的淑女a quiet，gracious lady19.冷酷无情的/心肠冷酷的人a cold-blooded/hard-hearted man20.具有的美德with the virtue of21.务实的be down-to-earth22.关于很无知be i

46、gnorant about23.性格果断be of a determined character24.乐观和有抱负的be optimistic and ambitious25.脱颖而出stand out from the crowd26.有突出的个性have striking personalities27.有诚实的好名声have an excellent character for honesty28.具有独立的性格possess an independent character微技能七表人物动作或心理活动的高级词汇1.赞赏的目光an admiring gaze2.嫉妒的目光an envio

47、us glance3.一项有意义的活动a meaningful/rewarding activity4.互相谅解，相互理解mutual understanding5.相信in the belief that.6.期待in the expectation that.7.面对斗争与改变in the face of struggle and change8.不顾对的忧虑regardless of concerns over.9.完全一团糟be completely in a mess10.对某事不存幻想be under no illusion about sth11.被认为是权威be conside

48、red an authority12.不愿改变be reluctant to make changes13.无力改变结果be powerless to change the outcome14.步态优美地走walk gracefully15.鼓起勇气muster up courage16.吸引注意capture the attention17.首次露面make ones first appearance18.没有履行职责fail to carry out ones duties19.给某人造成负担impose a heavy burden on sb20.服从志愿者组织的指挥follow or

49、ders from the voluntary organizations21.损害高中生形象damage the image of high school students22.经受起起落落go through ups and downs23.朝某人匆匆瞥了一眼cast a hasty glance at sb24.向某人投以爱慕的目光cast an admiring glance at sb25.凝视着某人look at sb with a fixed gaze26.爆发出阵阵喝彩声break into shouts of applause27.收回前言，承认说错eat ones word

50、s28.严厉训斥某人give sb a sharp scolding29.就某事发表意见make a remark on/upon sth30.说得明白而深刻say sth clearly and impressively31.来回踱步pace back and forth32.以栽培花木为消遣look upon gardening as a recreation33.在倾盆大雨中走walk through the pouring rain34.在乡间漫步wander over the countryside微技能八表人物日常活动的高级词汇1.一件常常发生的事a frequent occurr