1、Love and Marriage (a poem) Love is holding hands in the street Marriage is holding arguments in the street Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant Marriage is Chinese take-out Love is cuddling on a sofa Marriage is deciding on a sofa Love is talking about having children Marriage is talking
2、 about getting away from children Love is going to bed early Marriage is going to sleep early Love is a romantic drive Marriage is a tarmac (柏油路) drive Love is losing your appetite Marriage is losing your figure Love is sweet nothings in the ear Marriage is sweet nothings in the bank Love is a flick
3、ering flame Marriage is a flickering television Love is 1 drink and 2 straws（吸管） Marriage is “Dont you think youve had enough!“ Love Terms Single/bachelor 单身汉 Single woman /bachlorette 单身女郎 Luck a lot 缘分 Matchmaker 月下老人 Marriage go-between 媒人 Matrimonial agency 婚姻介绍所 Blind date 相亲 Pull ones heartstr
4、ings 打动心弦 Mutual attraction 相互吸引 Fall in love at first sight 一见钟情 Ones own wishful thinking 一厢情愿 Whole-hearted love 全心全意的爱情 Inseparable love 如胶似漆的爱情 Everlasting love 永恒的爱情 Be in love 相爱 Pure love 纯洁的爱情 Deep love 深沉的爱情 Platonic love 精神恋爱 One-sided love 单相思 Lose ones love 失恋 Fancy sick 害相思病的 Love toke
5、n 定情信物 Love letter 情书 Lovers vows 山盟海誓 Lover/sweetheart 情人 Rival in love 情敌 Old flame 旧情人 Court 求爱 Propose for marriage 求婚 Suitor 求婚者 Finance(husband-to-be) 未婚夫 Financee(wife-to-be) 未婚妻 Intended wife 未婚妻 Couple-to-be 未婚夫妻 Beauty is in the eyes of the lover 情人眼里出西施 Marraige Terms Legal marriage 合法婚姻
6、Trial marriage 试婚 Cohabitation 同居 Early marriage 早婚 Late marriage 晚婚 Marriage made in Heaven 天生一对 Freedom of marriage 婚姻自主 Arranged marriage 包办婚姻 Mercenary marriage 买卖婚姻 Left-hand marriage 门户不当的婚姻 Marriage certificate 结婚证 Family background 家境 Be well-matched in social and economic status 门当户对 Be fil
7、ial to ones parents 孝敬父母 Family man 有家室的人 Family planning 计划生育 Abortion 堕胎 Separation 分居 Divorce 离婚 Broken family 破碎家庭 Divorce by consent 协议离婚 Willing divorce 自愿离婚 Wedding ceremony 婚礼 Wedding march 结婚进行曲 Auspicious day 黄道吉日 Wedding night 花烛夜 Wedding feast 喜宴 Bridal chamber 洞房 Honey moon 蜜月 Well-matc
8、hed couple 很般配的一对 Ex-husband/wife Wedding card 喜贴 Wedding ring 婚姻戒指 Dowry 嫁妆 Match-maker/go-between 媒人 Marriage propose 提亲 Father-in-law 岳父 Mother-in law 岳母 Groomsman/best man 男傧相 Bride-maids 女傧相 Various theories and practices concerning marriage abound in China, especially in its cities. They inclu
9、de diehard (极端保守的)traditional views, and, on the part of younger people who have been influenced by Western ideas, a more “modern“ outlook. There are healthy, civilized approaches, and “theoretical foundations“ that benefit the individual at the expense of others; as well as dross that sullies （弄脏）
10、peoples lives, and woolly ideas and modes of behavior that need clarification. In general, the complex state of society that encompasses （包括） these intertwined concepts is, to varying degrees, reflected in the institutions of the family and marriage. Characteristics of Marriage in China The traditio
11、nal view of marriage, that “men and women should marry when they come of age” has now evolved into a far wider scope of choice, taking into account different personal situations. Monogamy（一妇一妻） still predominate, but there are now more late marriages, divorces, and “DINK” (double income, no kid) hou
12、seholds, as well as unconventional life styles such as unmarried cohabiting, homosexuality, celibacy （独身） , trial marriages, single-parent families, and even a recurrence of feudal concubinage（包二奶）. Reasons to marry have also changed from establishing an “economic community” and “reproductive cooper
13、ative,” to seeking emotional satisfaction. Conjugal harmony has become a more important reason for marrying, but there are also very “practical” people who regard the acquisition of wealth as the most important prerequisite for matrimony. On the other hand, there are people who are perplexed （困惑的） a
14、t such materialistic attitude towards choosing marriage partners. Those who suffer setbacks in their desire to marry, owing to an insufficient income, consequently feel a great nostalgia for（怀念） the “pure” love of the past. The ethical foundation of marriage has shifted from the family, and more str
15、ess is now laid on the happiness of the individual, and marriage is seen as a purely personal matter, having nothing to do with social stability. People no longer feel obliged to establish or stay in a loveless marriage, and certain young people are in favor of cohabiting, seeing it as less confinin
16、g. The marriage rate has continued to decline: from 8.918 million couples in 1998, to 8.888 million in 1999, to 8.48 million in 2000. More importance is placed on the quality of marriage. The old concept, “the family is a cell of society, and family stability reflects social stability,” is now in do
17、ubt. Most people regard divorce as a personal matter, and no reason for discrimination. The divorce rate is increasing steadily, having risen from 13.36 percent (1.191 million couples) in 1998, to 13.54 percent (1.203 million couples) in 1999, to 14.27 percent (1.21 million couples) in 2000. （图表题可以借
18、鉴） Moral obligations in marriage have also changed. Traditionally, a woman is “faithful to her husband to the end” and lives by “the three obediences and four virtues” （三从四德） (the former being obedience to her father before marriage, her husband after marriage, and her son upon her husbands death; a
19、nd the latter comprising virtue, appropriate speech, a modest manner, and diligence). These days, a wife is no longer her husbands dependent and chattel（动产）. Women demand a marriage of quality, and emotional compatibility with her spouse, as well as sexual rights and enjoyment, and the freedom to ac
20、t independently. They no longer think it a virtue to maintain a marriage without love, and are tolerant of extramarital affairs stemming from emotional love, to the extent of empathy （移情别恋） . Traditional views on chastity （纯洁） have also met with a certain level of resistance and criticism, but still
21、 have great influence on mens attitudes, that consequently also affect women. More stress is laid on the establishment of a marriage, and the art of communication between husband and wife, and other skills that keep a marriage alive, and a marriage certificate and child are no longer regarded as a s
22、ufficient basis for its continuance. It is acknowledged that love between two people does not happen automatically or as a result of their being “bound” together. However, certain older people to whom the idea of self-reliance is totally alien, and who still love their marriage partners, and place g
23、reat importance on the welfare of their children remain hopeful that legal restrictions on divorce will stay in force. Changes in marriage and the family have both progressive and retrogressive aspects. Some changes concur with tradition, while others are avant-garde,（前卫） and the intertwining of the
24、se conflicting ethical concepts causes disputes when put into practice. Forms of marriage on the Transitional （过渡的）（过渡的）Period The state of marriage on this, the transitional period, is complex. During the transformation from traditional to modern marriage, most marriages are in a state of transitio
25、n. The traditional marriage has the following characteristics. Owing to poverty-ridden and backward culture, survival is the main priority. Within the family, husband and wife have unequal statue-the man dominates and the woman defers to him. The wife is regarded as chattel. Under such circumstances
26、, traditional norms prevail, and the basic characteristics are male supremacy and female inferiority. This type of marriage still exists in the countryside, and in cities that are economically underdeveloped. Limited by straitened （限制）economic conditions, and bound by a sense of childrearing respons
27、ibility women are content with their lot （命运）of being a good wife and a loving mother and suppress any romantic fancies. Public opinion is tolerant of male promiscuity .prmiskju:iti，放荡, and within the traditional marriage extramarital affairs are generally those of the husband. These could hardly be
28、 termed “love affairs,” as they generally consist of sexual relations with little or no emotional investment, such as when men keep a mistress（情人） or visit a brothel（妓院）. The quality of this type of marriage is low. The “modern” marriage is based on high income, supported by emotional compatibility,
29、 and characterized by independent individuals. In such households, both husband and wife demand gender equality, relative freedom, and economic independence. Love is the sole reason for remaining married, and the relationship between husband and wife is that of a partnership contract, whereby each h
30、as relative freedom and the right to privacy. The modern marriage is therefore of a high spiritual and material quality. Both husband and wife know that the secret of sustained love is to make each other happy, rather than to maintain an empty shell of a marriage. When extramarital affairs occur on
31、one side, the other understands that everyone is human, and consequently has their weaknesses. If an affair should happen as a result of momentary passion, and the spouse is willing to end it for the sake of the marriage, their partner will be tolerant. Even if the couple divorces, they will avoid r
32、ancor(怨 恨), and often remain friends. Marriages of this type are not large in number in China, and exist only in cities, among a small number of younger people on high income, or who have received education abroad, and been influenced by Western concepts; and among intellectuals. The “transitional”
33、marriage is half way between these two, some inkling towards the former, and some to the latter. Generally speaking, husband and wife have separate incomes, social status, and supportive systems. Their living standards approach “well off,” but, influenced by the tradition of male dominance, the wife
34、 may have a serious mental dependency on her husband and seek to “live in conjugal（婚姻的） bliss to a ripe old age（白头偕老）.” If her husband has a extramarital affair, the wife usually feels wronged, indignant, and hurt, and will castigate（惩罚） him, but the eventual outcome varies according to different at
35、titudes. If, on the other hand, the husband discovers that his wife is having an extramarital affair, he will be completely intolerant, and a cold war will begin, ultimately culminating （以告终）in divorce. In many cases, if a husband has an extramarital affair, he does not necessarily want to divorce h
36、is wife, and continues to perform his familial duty. On calming down at the knowledge of an affair, the wife often weighs up the personal consequences of divorce or compromise, and may choose the course incurring the least loss. The decision not to divorce is for reasons of not wanting a child to lo
37、se its father, having nowhere else to live, and being unwilling to take on the hard life of a single parent. Some also harbor the hope that the husband might repent and come back, and others refuse to satisfy the “intruders” wish by giving their husband the opportunity to remarry. Then there are wom
38、en who feel that their age, and their being a parent will make remarriage impossible, and others in the predicament（困境） of a low income, instability to find employment owing to not having worked for years, or poor health, that precludes divorce. They nevertheless suffer pain at being deserted, and t
39、ry, therefore, to preserve their marriage, however poor its quality. Then there are cases of women who enjoy high social status, are independent, and have sufficient resources to raise their children and sustain a reasonable life style. Once a woman such as this discovers her husband has been having
40、 an extramarital affair, she will immediately divorce him, even though it means a lower living standard. After their divorce, such women choose either to live alone, no longer being able to trust men, or to remarry, but generally with the aim of meeting their material, rather than emotional needs. A
41、 Survey on the Quality of Marriage in China According to a sample survey conducted on the quality of marriage by Xu Anqi, a research fellow at the Institute of Sociology of the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, indicators of the quality of a marriage are: its emotional, material, leisure, and sex
42、ual aspects, and their cohesive interaction. A marriage of high quality is mutually satisfying; both partners experience emotional and sexual compatibility; there are few conflicts, and a strong cohesive force. Of the 3,205 couples surveyed, 22 percent were in a low-quality marriage, 75 percent had
43、a middle-quality marriage, and only 3 percent were found to enjoy a marriage of high quality. Her conclusion was that most marriages in China are of a middle level. Xu Anqi summarized the characteristics of marriage in China as follows: Equality, mutual trust, and harmony are the most important aspe
44、cts of marriage in China. The womans position in the family has improved remarkably over half a century, and this is the foundation on which most couples may expect to live in conjugal bliss to a ripe old age. Although most marriages have a strong cohesive force and are stable, the survey shows that
45、 certain flaws exist, and are mainly reflected in the small proportion of marriages that are based solely on emotional love, or those where the partners have insufficient outside interests, or whose sex life is unsatisfactory. In addition, the Beijing Public Health College of Beijing University, and
46、 Hong Kong Chinese University jointly conducted a survey on 500 professional women in Beijing, as regards their state of health and quality of life. On October 14, 2001, the Beijing Evening News published the results of the survey under the heading, “White Collar Women Are Hot-Tempered.“ Women parti
47、cipating in the survey were between the ages of 22 and 55, and the results of the survey were completely unexpected. The mental wellbeing of urban professional women who have received higher education, have good living standards, and well paid jobs, does not measure up to that of rural women. It see
48、ms that urban women are becoming more hot-tempered. They are often nervous, worried and irritable, and some are depressed at times to the extent of feeling suicidal. Yet urban womens physical conditions are far better than that of their rural counterparts. Any manual labor they do is lighter and of
49、a shorter duration. There are few cases of high blood pressure and obesity, and they pay more attention to a healthy lifestyle. In the countryside, most women are engaged in agricultural production based on the family, and there are fewer restrictions on their working hours. They often work with relatives and friends with whom they get along well. They experience less environmental pollution and less work pressure. Many rural women do largely manual labor, and need not exert great mental effort. Young and Urban Women: Joys and Worries It is reported th
