1、 What is Perfectionism?Characteristics Consequences Success and Happiness Sources of Perfectionism Overcoming PerfectionismLearn to fail or fail to learnCrisis(Wei Ji)DangerandOpportunity“The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.”Elbert HubbardThe Path of Failure Age 22:Lost
2、 job Age 23:Defeated for state legislature Age 24:Failed in business Age 27:Nervous breakdown Age 34:Ran for congress and defeated Age 39:Defeated again Age 46:Ran for senate and defeated Age 47:Defeated for nomination for vice president Age 50:Defeated again for senate Age 51:16th US President“Free
3、dom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”Mohandas Gandhi“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.”George EliotThomas Watson Sr.IBMAmy Edmondson(1999)“Psychological Safety”“If you want to increase your success rate,double your failu
4、re rate.”Thomas Watson Sr.“Origins of Genius”(Simonton,1999)Fail your way to success(Klem,1997)Perfectionism is an incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives,especially those areas that we care about most.It is an approach,a cognitive and emotional schema,that we hold toward the journey
5、 of our lives,toward the process of getting from point A to point B.DefensiveOpen to SuggestionsHalf EmptyHalf FullOver GeneralizeRealisticNo Self-AcceptanceUnconditional AcceptanceStaticDynamicPerfectionExcellenceFear of failureFailure as feedbackFocus on DestinationJourney and DestinationTemporary
6、 ReliefLasting SatisfactionInevitable FailurePossibility of SuccessWastes timeAppropriate Time AllocationProne to disordersHealthy ApproachHurts Self-EsteemContinuous ImprovementHarms RelationshipsAllows for GrowthAnxiety/StressCreative TensionPerfectionExcellencePerformance?Less Pain More Gain Sust
7、ainable approach to growth Procrastination Higher levels of self-confidence Learn to fail or fail to learn The Luck Factor(Wiseman,2003)Creativity(Simonton,1999)80/20 Rule(Paretos Principle)Increase in flow experiences(Csikszentmihalyi,1991)ConditioningDestination=Reward=AcceptanceJourney=Unrewarded
8、=Means Only Social environment Permission to be human?“Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control.They come to see themselves as in control of their success.Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the childs control,and it provides no good recipe for responding to a f
9、ailure.”Intelligence versus Effort“When you praise kids intelligence and then they fail,they think theyre not smart anymore,and they lose interest in their work.In contrast,kids praised for effort show no impairment and often are energized in the face of difficulty.”Fixed versus Malleable Awareness
10、Awareness Focus on,and reward,effort Active Acceptance Behavior changes attitude Meditation and visualization Setting a liberating goal or vision The Platinum Rule Helping others?1.Permissiona.Acceptanceb.Respect for reality2.Positivea.Benefit findingb.Failure as opportunityc.Distracting3.Perspectivea.Dont sweat the small stuffb.Psychological maturityNature to be commanded must be obeyed.Francis Bacon
