1、Business Writing Hu Yingkun August 12 , 2007Outline nPart I Fundamentals of Business Writing nPart IICriteria for Effective Business Writing nPart III Sample LessonnPart IV Problems to Be Tackled in This Course nPart V Requirements for TeachersBooks that has influenced me nBasic Business Communicati
2、on (1991) by Raymond V. Lesikar nBusiness communication ( 1998) ( 2005) by Carol M. Lehman (Thomson publishing house; 东北财经大学出版社东北财经大学出版社) Part 1 FundamentalsnTheories related to communications1.1 Human needs 1.2 Stroking and Johari window1.3 Theory X and Theory Y of management 1.4 Marketing concept
3、1.1 Maslows Hierarchy of NeedsPHYSIOLOGICALSAFTYSOCIALESTEEMSELF ACTUALI-ZATIONHuman needs ( Abraham Maslow)nLower level needs qphysiological qSafety qSocial Higher level needs -Esteem-Self-actualization 1.2 Stroking and Johari windownStroking nTransactional term (相互作用分析相互作用分析） for identifying the w
4、ay others give recognition to a person nPositive stroke, E.g. receiving congratulatory phone calls or letter nNegative stroke, E.g. receiving hurtful comments Johari WindowChapter 1IFree or open areaIIBlind areaIIIHidden areaIVUnknown areaJohari windown1. Free or open area-what we know about ourselv
5、es and others about us.n2. Blind area - others know about us, but we dont know about ourselvesn3. Hidden area - Things we know about ourselves, other dont known4. Unknown area - things we dont know and others dont know about us Johari windownThe purpose is to expand the open area , decrease the bind
6、 and hidden area , therefore leading to higher level of interpersonal sharing.nTrust is something that must be earned.nTrust and openness lead to better communication between two people nIn business we aim at both task oriented communication and emotional communication 1.3 Theory X of Management Sty
7、les Douglas Mcgregor , a management theorist attempted to distinguish between the old and the modern style of management nTheory X : ntraditional style,n meet lower level of human needs, exercise strong control over the employees, nemploy external incentives, E. G. job and a paycheck Theory Y of Man
8、agement Styles nModern stylenMeet higher level needsnBalance control and individual freedom nLessen the external motivation nE.G empowerment 1.4 Changes in Marketing Mix from 4 Ps to 4Csn4 psnProductnPrice nPlace nPromotion n4 csnCustomernCostnConvenience nCommunication 4 PsnProduct - design or prod
9、uction nPrice and place distribution nPromotion - marketing communication nThe 4ps determine how a good or service is made and provided, how much it cost, where it is distributed and how it is presented in all company communication4 csnCustomer focus on customers wants and needs versus product nCost
10、 what it costs a customer to own a product instead of how to price a product ( e. g. car- considering the repair cost)nConvenience - ( place) focus on how easy it is for customers to acquire the product, rather than how easy for the company to distribute it ( e.g. Coca Cola convince restaurants to o
11、ffer its products , as well as making them widely available in every type of stores4cs ( continued )nCommunication Traditionally promotion has meant sending brand messages and offers to customers, using one-way communication. The new way of thinking focuses on opening up opportunities for dialogue,
12、from telling and selling to listening and learningPart II. Criteria for Effective Business Writing 2.1 Courtesy 2.2 Correctness 2.3 Conciseness 2.4 Clarity 2.5 Concreteness2.6 Completeness2.1 CourtesyTreating people with respect and concern 2.1.1. You view points2.1.2. Conversational language2.1.3.
13、words of positive effect 2.1.4. other techniques2.1.1 You view- pointsWriter centered I am happy to inform you We have been quite tolerant of your past-due account and must now demand paymentWe have received your report of May 1.You- view -point You will be glad to know If you are to continue to enj
14、oy the benefits of credit buying, you will clear your account nowThank you for your report of May 12.1.2. Conversational languageDull and stiffPlease be advised that your should sign the form before the 1st.Kindly advise at an early dateI herewith hand you Thanking you in advance Conversational You
15、should sign the form before the 1stPlease let me know soon.Here is Ill sincerely appreciate 2.1.3 words of positive effectNegative We cannot deliver until Friday We regret to inform you that we must deny your request for credit You were wrong in your conclusion , for paragraph 3 of our agreement cle
16、arly states Positive We can deliver the good on FridayFor the time being , we can serve you only on a cash basis.You will agree after reading paragraph 3 of our agreement that 2.1.4 other techniques nSingle our your readerswriting for the one situation, the reader is getting individual attention and
17、 treatmentnAvoid condescending tones E.g. You need. You wantyou must .Tend to talk down to the reader, making them feel bad nDo more than expected nE.g. suggest alternatives make counterproposal nBeing sincere nAvoid exaggeration 2.2 CorrectnessIn term of grammar, punctuation, spelling, using accura
18、te information basic in business writing E.g. Boot VS Boat Mistakes may result in the impression that you are not competent; You didnt give them much respect # Bring economic losses to the business# are harmful for relationship ( (examples to be continued) Eliminate misplaced elementsnWe have taken
19、the check to the bank , which was unsigned nThe three year budgets are being returned to the strategic planning committee, which have some serious defectsnWe have taken the check which was unsigned to the bank.nThe three year budgets, which have some serious defects, are being returned to the commit
20、tee.Eliminate dangling modifiersnTo create that bar chart, the information must be keyed into a spreadsheet file.nAlthough tied, the feasibility report had to be completednTo create that bar chart, you must key the information into a spreadsheet file.nAlthough she was tied, Sonia had to complete the
21、 feasibility report2.3 concisenessnInclude only those details that the receiver needs; and state these details in the fewest possible wordsnEliminate redundancy ( e.g. end result , full and complete ) nEliminate clichs that are often wordynDont restate ideas that are sufficiently implied (examples t
22、o be continued) WordynThere are four rules that should be observed nIn the period between April and July we detected the problemnThe price increase will afford the company an opportunity to retire the debt.Concise nFour rules should be observedn Between April and July we detected the problemnThe pri
23、ce increase will enable the company to retire the debt2.4 Clarity- tells the readers exactly what they want and need - show concern for the readers - Short sentence, familiar words- Big men use small words ; small men use big words(examples to be continued)Examples Formal words nTerminate nProcurenR
24、emuneratenElucidate nUtilize nInformal words nEnd nGetnPaynExplain nUse2.5 ConcretenessUse action verbsPassive voice states the facts; active verbs present pictures in readers mind.Specific information exerts more impression on the readers mind (examples to be continued)Action verbs and specific exp
25、ressionsnIf you step in the treadmill to begin your workout, you will immediately enjoy the smooth even movementnOver 95% of our customers have been satisfied with our servicenHe is among the top five in the class of 60.Passive voices and general expressionsnThe treadmill is powered by two horsepowe
26、r motor nMany customers have been satisfied with our products service.nHe is an excellent student.2.6 Completeness Include all the necessary information and data in the messageIncomplete message may result in increased communication, loss of goodwill, sales and valued customers Following the six cs
27、standards, you can (1) accomplish your task get thing done , and (2) maintain goodwill with customers.(examples to be continued) Dear Sirs, We ordered 50 Dell computers from your company. Today we received the goods and find that 49 computers are in good condition. We are regretful to tell you that
28、1 computer is in bad condition. We will be happy if you replace the computer or refund the money. We think that will be beneficial to our relation. Sincerely yours, Dear Sirs: Thank you for the prompt delivery of 50 Dell computers f Pentium 468 under order 245. All of them work well but one. In tria
29、l operation, the computer failed to start. We checked and found no problem with the power, and our technician could not solve the problem. Would you either send a technician to see what is wrong with it or replace it in 10 ten days. Your cooperation is appreciated . Your sincerely, Part III Sample l
30、esson Chapter 3 inquiries and requestnStep one : ( Group discussion ) Warm up Questions Please list the circumstances under which you need to write inquires and request, and the situations in which a business need to write inquiries and request? When you write an inquiry, what order will you follow?
31、 nStep two : ( class work)Read the introduction of writing principle for inquiry and request.nStep Three :(pair work , group activities)study Letter A and B, which are written according to the principleDiscuss how they are organized Recognize useful expressions in them Write according to the example
32、s Example: Inquiry about cotton bed-sheets ( writer after letter A ) information to be inquired : - Price - Delivery time- Terms of payment - Discount nStep four Make sample analysis inquiries Sample 3-1 and 3-2: good examples of inquiries about products Sample 3-5 : poor example of inquiries Reques
33、t Sample 3-3 and 3-4 : good examples request for information Sample 3-6: poor example of requestAnalyze every letter in terms of ( class work) uWhat tasks it is meant to accomplish uHow it is organized uHow well it follows the 6 cs . point out the useful expressions used , Pay attention to how the l
34、etter begins and endsnStep five ( group work or class work)Improve the one which is not well written E.g. For Sample 3-5 (examples to be continued)The original nWe met during the Spring Guangzhou Fair 2004 and would like to know whether you are in a position to offers us Gastrodia elata of Sichuan o
35、rigin.nOur Customers are bad need of this medical herb, we shall be pleased to hear from you at an early date nLooking forward to your swift reply.AnalysisnBeginning is good, mention the products that you are interested in nThe information requested is not complete and specific.nWriter centered wenT
36、he ending is rubber stamp Improved nWould you kindly let me know whether you are in a position to offers us Gastrodia elata of Sichuan origin.nGastonia elata you displayed at the Spring Fair in Guangzhow last month aroused my interest, and we had a brief discussion about it. Now, one of my customers
37、 is badly in need of Gastrodia elata of Sichuan origin. Please give your price CIF Shanghai, terms of payment, and earliest delivery time so that we can place order with you. nYour prompt reply would be appreciated. Writing task Step six ( group work ) Task one n100 desktop computer nInstalled in th
38、e lab for students this termn place an order n Inquire about price, delivery time, and discount n (examples to be continued)Task one Dear Sirs:Would please send us details of Desktop Computer III which you advertised on Business Journal last week. Please inform us of the best price and indicate the
39、earliest delivery time. We would like to know whether you can give us discount if we order a large quantity, say over 100 sets. As our university is going to upgrade the teaching facilities this semester we are considering buying computers of good quality and at reasonable price.We would appreciate
40、it very much if you can offer us the information we need.Dear Dean Liu Yongze: ( Writing task two, requesting for information) As I will begin to study in the Accounting Department of DUFE in September this year, Id like you to help me with related information of the major. Would you please let me k
41、now the following:1. Besides Accounting related coursed, what other courses do you offer?2. Are there any opportunities of going abroad, while we study in DUFE?3. Do you provide facilities to access to the Internet? I am eager to study with the teachers in your department. I hope I will have a wonde
42、rful experience in your school.I am expecting to meet you on September 9. Check Your Work( pair work) nHave you completed the task?nIs your layout correct?nDo you have all the correct information?nIs it ordered in the best way?nIs the language appropriate for the occasion?nhave you checked spelling,
43、 grammar and punctuation? Part IV Problems to be tackled business writing teaching 4.1 Motivation of students 4.2 Teaching materials 4.3 Teachers professionalism 4.4 teaching methods - 4.1 Students motivation for taking the course nMostly they are pre-experience learner: 1) Prepare for their future
44、working life in business ( motivated) 2) get credits to graduate ( need to be motivated) 3) Pass BEC test 4.2 Teaching materials nNo text book is perfect in itself or for a particular teaching learning contextnNeed to adapt and supplement in some way for particular students and specific teaching con
45、textsn Authentic materials nCase study 4.3 Particular nature of business writing teaching nIs a branch of English for Special purpose nIs more than specialized vocabularyn involves with theories of applied linguistics, socio-linguistics, pragmatics, HR management, psychology, cross-cultural communic
46、ations 4.4 Teaching method nSubstituting nSupplementing nAdapting course book material according to students interests or needs nPair writing or group writing planning drafting revision comment Part V Requirements for teachers nStrong interest in your teachingnProficiency in English language nKnowledge of business communications and of trade and marketing nUnderstanding of students needs and motivesnSkill of class management nExtra efforts at evaluating students performance
