1、Guo,TieyuanOutlinesWhat leads to friendship and attraction?What is love?What enables close relationship?How do relationship end?We are social animalsSocial RejectionBeing rejected by others is a very painful experiencesThe Cyberball gameThe social pains from social rejection is very similar to physi
2、cal pains.Social rejection evokes a brain response similar to that triggered by physical pains.Pain-relieving medicine(Tylenol)can reduce hurt feeling as well.Recalling a time of social rejection can make people perceive the room temperature as being colder.Feeling love can reduce physical painsDete
3、rminants of AttractionProximity-Geographical nearness;functional distancePhysical AttractivenessSimilarity vs.ComplementarityReciprocity-Liking those who like usProximityProximity effect People tend to become attracted to others with whom they are in close proximity.ExperimentRandomly assigned stude
4、nts to seats at their first class meeting.One year later,participants reported their friendship with their classmates.Results-Students had greater friendship with those who happened to seat next to them during the first class.Similar findings for romantic relationship-most people marry someone from
5、their neighborhood.ProximityFunctional distance,i.e.,how often peoples paths cross,increase liking.Evidence 1-Students in single sex students residence has less cross-sex friendship than those in gender integrated students residence.Evidence 2-ExperimentName 3 closet friendsWhy does proximity lead t
6、o attraction?Anticipation of interaction Proximity leads to anticipation of interactions and exchange rewards,which boosts liking.ExperimentParticipants read ambiguous descriptions of two women,one of whom they expected to talk with immediately.Then they rated the two women.Results-Participants rate
7、d the woman they expected to interact with more positively.Why?Anticipation of interaction liking forming a rewarding relationshipWhich Tony do you like more?Why does proximity lead to attraction?Familiarity-Mere exposure effectTendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively aft
8、er the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them Exposure without awareness leads to liking Experiment 1Participants were presented with meaningless words,pictures,or faces with either high or low frequency.They then reported their liking for these stimuli.Mere exposure Mere exposure Experiment 2Dur
9、ing a semester,four confederate students attended a class for different times,i.e.,0,5,10,and 15 times.They seated in front of the class.At the end of the semester,students rated their liking to these four students.Mere exposureName letter effect-people tend to like the letters appearing in their na
10、mes more than other letters.Repeated advertisement increases sales and the probability of winning an election.We like the self image that we see often,i.e.,mirror image,than the one that we dont see often,i.e.,photo image.Mirror imagePhoto imagePhysical AttractivenessPhysical attractiveness breeds l
11、iking.Attractiveness and datingGood looking is a predictor of how often one dates,both for man and women.Study Researchers matched couples randomly and let them have a dance and talk for 2.5 hours.How likely they will see each other again.Results-Personality,aptitude,and intelligence,social skills,e
12、tc.didnt matter.Only physical attractiveness can predict future dating,i.e.,the more attractive a woman or a man was,the more likely the man or the woman liked her or him,and wanted to date her or him again.Gender differences in emphasis of physical attractivenessMen put more emphasis on their partn
13、ers good looking than women does.Physical Attractiveness and electionLooks influence voting-Physical attractiveness breeds liking.Research has found that competent-looking candidates are more likely to win elections.When participants were provided with candidates photos,they can predict the election
14、 outcome with some accuracy.The Matching phenomenonTendency for men and women to choose as partners those who are a“good match”in attractiveness and other traits The physical attractiveness of husbands and wife,of dating partners,are positively correlated with each other.Those who were most similar
15、in physical attractiveness tend to love each other more deeply in a relationship.Physical-attractiveness stereotypeThe belief that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits as well.Beautiful people are perceived as being happier,sexually warmer,more outgoing,intelligent,an
16、d successful,etcExperimentsTeachers were showed identical information about a boy or a girl,with two type of photos:attractive or unattractive photos.Results-The teachers rated the attractive boy or girl as being more intelligent and successful in school.Research also show that teachers tend to trea
17、t attractive boys and girls more warmly.Physical-attractiveness stereotypeWill cosmetic surgery(整容手術)improve other peoples impression on us?ExperimentsParticipants rated eight women based on profile photos before and after cosmetic surgery.Results-The women were rated as being more physically attrac
18、tive,kinder,more sensitive,more sexually warmer and responsive,more likable,etc.Who is more attractive?Symmetrical faces are more attractiveFacial SymmetryAverage/Composite Faces2 face composite32 face compositeAverage faces are more attractiveAverage/Composite FacesReal vs.Virtual Miss GermanyThe v
19、irtual Miss Germany,a composite of 22“Queen of Beauty”finalists,were rated as being more attractive than the real Miss Germany.RealVirtualAre mixed/biracial more beautiful？混血兒更漂亮嗎？Evolution and attractionPhysical attractiveness signals biologically important information,i.e.,health,youth,and fertili
20、ty.Women:Women with hourglass figures tend to have more regular menstrual cycles,and more fertile.The preference for lighter skin colors is related to providing enough vitamin D for the fetus.Men:Physically attractive men tend to have higher quality sperm,have ability to gather foods and protect chi
21、ldren(i.e.,strong and muscular)Think about why men with a square face is viewed as being more attractive,whereas women with a square face is viewed as being less attractive?Social comparison and attractionContrast effectAfter viewing super attractive person,we tend to judge others as being less attr
22、active.After watching TV program of sexy beautiful women,participants judged an average looking woman as being less attractive.Viewing pornography decreases satisfaction with ones own partner.Similarly,after watching super attractive person of the same gender,people rated themselves as less attracti
23、ve.Attractiveness of those we loveWe see likable people as being more attractiveThe more in love a woman,the more physical attractive she finds her partner.The more in love people are,the less attractive they find all others of the opposite sex.Similarity versus Complementarity Do birds of a feather
24、 flock together?Likeness begets liking,HK roommate friendships flourished when they share similar values,backgrounds,etc.(Lee and Bond,1996).Subtle mimicry fosters liking.Similarity among friends can predict how long the friendship last/survive.Dissimilarity breeds dislikeIts difficult to like someo
25、ne who has dissimilar views.Strait men dislike gays,etc.ReciprocityA mutual exchange between what we give and receive.we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate with rewarding eventsWe like others Who Like UsWhen participants were told someone like and admire them,or when t
26、hey think someone might love them,they like that person more.We dislike others who says negative things about us.Students like another student who says 8 positive things about them more than one who says 7 positive things and 1 negative thing about them.Negative comments are much more powerful becau
27、se being less usual,they grabs more attention from us.ReciprocityIngratiation(阿諛奉承，討好),such as flattery,can make others like you,ONLY if you/your flattery are perceived as sincere.Do we like a person who likes us from the beginning more or do we like a person who initially dislike us,but change ones
28、 attitudes and gradually like us more?In which case,do you think Ray would like Sophia more?Ray is in a small discussion class with his roommates cousin,Sophia.After the first week of classes,Ray learns via his“pipeline”that Sophia thinks him rather shallow.As the semester progress,he learns that So
29、phias opinion of him is steadily rising.Gradually,she comes to view him as bright,thoughtful,and charming.Ray is in a small discussion class with his roommates cousin,Sophia.After the first week of classes,Ray learns via his“pipeline”that Sophia thinks him very positively.As the semester progress,he
30、 learns that Sophias opinion of him remains very positive.Finally,at the end of semester,she continue to view him as bright,thoughtful,and charming.Conclusion-Ray in the first case tends to like Sophia more.OutlinesWhat leads to friendship and attraction?What is love?What enables close relationship?
31、How do relationship end?What Is Love?Passionate LovePassion-sexual passion and desireIntimacy-honesty and understandingCommitment-devotion and sacrificeWhat Is Love?Deeply loved couples tend to have more eye contact(gazing).When talking,they nod their heads,simile naturally,and lean forward their bo
32、dies.Gazing can evoke the love feelingExperiments-Unacquainted participants gazed for 2 minutes at either each others hands or into each others eyes.Results-The eye gazers reported intense attraction and affection to each other.Theory of passionate loveTwo-factor theory of emotionSuggests that in a
33、romantic context,arousal from any source,even painful experiences,can be steered into passionScary movies,roller-coaster rides,physical exercise,etc.all work.Married couples who do exciting activities together report the best relationships.Misattribution-Excitation TransferDutton&Aron(1974)Men were
34、approached by an attractive woman after crossing bridgeShaky suspension bridgeStable bridgeAsked to participate in a short study(shown picture,asked to make up story)Woman gives phone number in case participant has questions about the studyDutton&Aron(1974)Compared to the men on stable bridge,men on
35、 the suspension bridge:Used more sexual imagery in their storiesMore likely to call the attractive female research assistant%Calling Experimenter0102030405060Stable BridgeSuspension BridgeCulture and gender variations in loveCulture variations in loveIndividualistic cultures-marriages for loveCollec
36、tive cultures-arranged marriagesGender differences in loveAlthough traditionally people believe females are more ready to fall in love,research shows that men tend to fall in love more quickly than women,and men also fall out of love more slowly than women.0102030405060PercentageUSAAustraliaEnglandI
37、ndiaPakistanWould you Marry Without Love?(stopped here)MacauCompanionate LoveAffection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined Occurs after passionate love fades OutlinesWhat leads to friendship and attraction?What is love?What enables close relationship?How do relationship end?
38、What Enables Close Relationships?AttachmentOur need to belong is adaptiveEquityWhat you and your partner get out of a relationship should be proportional to what you each put into it.Self-DisclosureWhich of the following best describes your feelings?1)I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to other
39、s;I find it difficult to trust them completely,difficult to allow myself to depend on them.I am nervous when anyone gets too close,and often,others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.2)I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and ha
40、ving them depend on me.I dont worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.3)I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like.I often worry that my partner doesnt really love me or wont want to stay with me.I want to get very close to my partner,and this somet
41、imes scares people away.AttachmentAttachment stylesSecure attachmentRooted in trust and marked by intimacyAvoidant attachmentAvoiding closenessInsecure attachmentClinging,then indifferent or hostileEquityThe condition in which the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what
42、they contribute to it Long-term equityAs people observe their partners being self-giving,their sense of trust grows Perceived equity positively correlated with marriage satisfactionSelf-DisclosureRevealing intimate aspects of oneself to others We like people who self-disclose to us,and we tend to se
43、lf-disclose to people who we like.Disclosure reciprocityTendency for one persons intimacy or self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner OutlinesWhat leads to friendship and attraction?What is love?What enables close relationship?How do relationship end?How Do Relationships End?Divorce
44、Rates varied widely by countryIndividualistic cultures have more divorce than do communal cultures.78%American women and 29%of Japanese women consider“keeping romance alive”as important for a good marriage.86%American couples who were unhappily married but who stayed with the marriage,were mostly“qu
45、ite”or“very happy”with their marriage 5 years later.DivorceDivorce is less likely to happen when the couplesMarried after age 20Both grew up in stable,two-parent homesDated for a long while before marriageAre well and similarly educated,of similar age,etc.Enjoy a stable income from a good jobLive in
46、 a small town or a farmDidnt cohabit or become pregnant before marriageAre religiously committedDetachment ProcessDetachment is a painful processThe closer and longer the relationship,and the fewer available alternatives,the more painful the breakup.Detachment ProcessThree ways of coping with a failing relationshipLoyaltyPerseverance,waiting for conditions to improve and hoping good old days will return.NeglectIgnore the partner and allow the relationship to deteriorate Voice concerns Take active steps to improve relationship
