1、Influencing SkillsActuarial Beijing,Friday Presentation30th September 2011.Agenda Filters of the world Specific Behaviours The Agreement Frame Embedding Thoughts.Filters of the World Towards Vs Away From Matching Vs Mis-matching Small Chunking Vs Big Chunking Internal Vs External.Specific Behaviours
2、Authoritative(Push)Directing assertive&persuasive Evaluating positive&negative Probing questionsFacilitative(Pull)Active listening Encouraging questions Disclosing.Authoritative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?From Id like to I want to I insist Determined,firm even forceful Planted,upright,strong eye co
3、ntact and gestureAssertive directing:Short statement with expectations clearly articulated repeat as necessary.Authoritative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?I suggest,I recommend,my view Calm,logical,even paced with conviction Confident,upright,good eye contact and gestures counting reasonsPersuasive di
4、recting:Crisp proposal as recommendation Back up with one/two clear reasons.Authoritative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?I like it/I appreciate it when you Positive tone with energy matching the feeling conveyed Smiling,encouraging,warm eye contactPositive Evaluation:To the point statement explaining t
5、he impact of a behaviour on you Behaviour and impact in either order.Authoritative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?I dont like it/I was frustrated when Controlled tone and tempo,strong enough for words to register Firm hand gestures,upright,strong eye contactNegative Evaluation:To the point statement ex
6、plaining the impact of a behaviour on you Behaviour and impact in either order.Authoritative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?Help me understand,you havent told me,tell me more about As appropriate to either challenge or to encourage Firm if challenging,open if encouragingProbing Questions:To challenge o
7、r understand more on your agenda use as embedded questions.Specific BehavioursAuthoritative(Push)Directing assertive&persuasive Evaluating positive&negative Probing questionsFacilitative(Pull)Active listening Encouraging questions Disclosing.Facilitative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?Youre saying that
8、,you felt that,you sound like,can I check that Simply match the speaker as general rule slight smile to encourage Simply match the speaker as general rule slightly less animated to calmActive Listening:To be able to fully understand On their agenda full attention no wondering Paraphrase information&
9、feelings.Facilitative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?Tell me about,what else have you considered about,who else is As appropriate to show that you are supportive calm&even paced Open,slightly quizzical as keen to know more to deepen understandingEncouraging Questions:Help speaker explore issue in detai
10、l Open a topic to uncover a new angle Consider impact&agree conclusion.Facilitative BehavioursWords?Music?Dance?Id like to share,Im confused about how to,Im anxious about Relaxed and warm to ensure best chance of mutual disclosure Sincere with good eye contactDisclosing To offer facts,thoughts&feeli
11、ngs To help others get your position To build trust and rapport.The Agreement FrameMaintaining rapport whilst not agreeing I understand what you are saying,_Replace but or however with andWhile you are at it,replace understand with:agree or appreciate or respect.The Agreement Frame-ExampleA:I think
12、we should have nuclear weaponsB:I understand what you are saying,but.Or:I agree we have the right to feel secure,and I appreciate we have the right to defend ourselves,and I respect we have the right to bear arms,and.Embedding ThoughtsEmbedded Suggestions Most people.Doing gives people confidenceEmbedded Commands When you have,youll be I know that now you,youll want to I know that now you,youll want toEmbedded Questions you havent told me yet Im wondering what you.
