1、,Writing,Learning aims: By the end of the class, we students are expected to 1.To learn how to edit a composition. 2. To learn to use some writing strategies,Hu Caogang Middle School Cai Weilian,Standards of a good composition,中考书面表达20分,假如你是一名乐园的志愿者，用英语向孩子们介绍乐园并提醒他们文明游园。 Id like to say something abo
2、ut the park and tell you how to behave well in it.,第二人称为主,What person? （人称）,Typical mistakes(典型错误）,In Disneyland, we can take part in，Also, we can buy some gifts for ，we can watch a fireworks show ,you,you,you,Typical mistakes(典型错误）, in the east of Shanghai.,1.The Shanghai Disneyland is in the easte
3、rn of Shanghai. You can get there by underground., in the eastern part of Shanghai.,2.It is made of six theme parks.,It is made up of six theme parks.,It has/includes six theme parks.,There are six theme parks in it .,上海东部, 地铁可达,由六个主题公园组成,lies,Enough contents,（吴彦悦）There are a lot of activities, you
4、can take part in all of them. You will enjoy the wonderful show in the later afternoon.,You can take part in activities and enjoy the show.,You can take part in many activities in it, the song and dance show .,Tip1: 添加主语、修饰词(时间、地点、方式），转换句式,参加活动，欣赏表演,购买礼物,观看烟花,such as enjoying,such as enjoy,Lets appr
5、eciate 欣赏,（韦天玥）The fireworks show is the best part of a day. I believe that you will enjoy it.,（王紫伊）In the evening, I believe that all of you will be excited because the fireworks show will be wonderful.,（徐李垚）The fireworks show will be worth watching.,（张可）A fireworks show will be shown at night. Don
6、t miss it.,Modify your writing 修改作文,Make up,Enough contents,Tip2: 不遗漏要点,不乱扔垃圾，保持整洁 考生自拟（至少2点）,drop litter/rubbish everywhere,keep the park clean/tidy,In the theme park, you shouldnt throw rubbish around. You should keep the park clean. Dont write words on the wall.,1,2,3,queue for your turn keep qui
7、et keep your voice down help others,push in before others draw on the wall break public things shout loudly in public,Its impolite to drop litter everywhere.,Dont drop litter everywhere .,Littering isnt allowed .,Youd better not drop litter everywhere.,Fine language,You arent allowed to drop litter
8、everywhere .,When you are visiting the park, You shouldnt drop litter everywhere. You should keep the park clean . You shouldnt push in before others. You should queue.,Tip3: 使用不同表达,不乱扔垃圾,You should keep the park clean.,You shouldnt push in before others .,Practice: Use different expressions,Fine la
9、nguage,Tip4: 添加连接词(conjunctions),You can take part in many different of activities, enjoy the wonderful shows .,You can take part in many different of activities and enjoy the wonderful shows.,You can not only take part in many different of activities but also enjoy the wonderful shows.,You can take
10、 part in many different of activities. Also, you can enjoy the wonderful shows. ,Fine language,You can enjoy the shows there. I think the parade of Disney characters is good. Otherwise, you can buy some presents for your friends.,also, moreover, whats more, besides,Join the two sentences together,Yo
11、u shouldnt talk loudly in public. You shouldnt shout loudly in public.,You shouldnt talk or shout loudly in public.,2. You can eat food in it, you cant drop litter everywhere.,You can eat food in it but you cant drop litter everywhere.,Fine language,Tip5: 添加过渡句(transitional sentences),（王梓睿）However,
12、we should behave politely when we play inside.,（张钱洋）However, we should behave politely in the Disneyland.,（徐元晨）However, we should pay attention to our manners,（陈昱）When you have fun in the park you should also be polite.,However, you should behave politely while playing. For example, you shouldnt thr
13、ow rubbish everywhere. Instead, you must drop litter in a rubbish bin. you re not allowed to walk on the grass., either. Moreover, its impolite of you to push in before others while you are waiting.,you should behave politely while playing.,周娉婷,Beautiful handwriting,neat & beautiful,Modify your writ
14、ing 修改作文,Beautiful handwriting,poor,Writing time,2016年中考书面表达,Good morning, children ! As a volunteer from Shanghai Disneyland, Id like to say something about the park and tell you how to behave well in it. _ The Park is worth your visit. I hope you will have fun.,Write it again,Read your writing aga
15、in and try to make it better!,Homework,得书面表达者，得高分。,上海迪斯尼乐园于今年6月16日正式开放，许多孩子打算前往游玩。假如你是一名乐园的志愿者，请你根据下列表格中的要点提示，用英语向孩子们介绍乐园并提醒他们文明游园。,注意：1. 词数90左右。短文的开头和结尾已为你写好，不计入总词数； 2. 短文须包括所有要点，不要逐词解释，可适当发挥，使短文连贯、通顺 3. 短文中不得出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息。 参考词汇：theme n.主题； firework n.烟火,2016年中考书面表达,Fine language,Tip4: use proper
16、 conjunctions(连接词）,You can enjoy the shows there. I think the parade of Disney characters is good. Otherwise, you can buy some presents for your friends.,递进 ： moreover, whats more, besides,You can _ join in different kinds of activities _ enjoy the wonderful shows.,并列 ： not only but also,_,You can j
17、oin in different kinds of activities and enjoy the wonderful shows._ ,you can go to the shopping areas to buy some presents._, you can watch beautiful fireworks.,You can join in different kinds of activities. _ ,you can enjoy the wonderful shows.,举例： for example+句子，such as+短语,顺序：first, second, next, then, finally,
