1、A Wise Deer&A Cowardly Tiger 浙江省十校联盟浙江省十校联盟2019年年10月高三联考读后续写月高三联考读后续写富阳中学富阳中学 王璐王璐 Analysis of the textLiterary genre(文体文体):Fable 寓言故事寓言故事Features(特征特征):Tell a short story using simple words and sentences,from which you can learn a lesson.The character can be a person or an animal.续写材料的文体和文体特征小说、童话、
2、寓言、故事语言特征语言的协同性语言表达：主要时态和语态：主要句式摘记：各类描写：修辞：语言表达：语言简洁，表达不复杂（简单句较多）；含一些对话；故事叙述主要时态和语态：一般过去时；主动语态主要句式摘记：The deer was frightened because.(原状从)Fortunately,the tiger was not.(adv,+句子)The deer was trying to.when she heard.(时状从）The cunning jackal was now sure the tigher was.(宾从）各类描写：动作：The young ones wander
3、ed haply here and there.心理：The deer was frieghtened.环境：There were bones of dead animals all over the cave.修辞：拟人(把动物当作人来描写，赋予有生命的动物以人的禀性，使之像人一样地说话，行动，有思想，有感情。)WhoWhere Task I:Read for plotsMother deer and her fawns;a tiger;a jackalin the tigers caveHer reaction?stayed calm and thought of a planMother
4、 deer was trying to lead her fawns out of the cave when she saw the tiger coming back.What happenedto scare the tiger away by pretending to be a fierce animal waiting to kill it for food.Did the plan work?The tiger got frightened and ran away Mother deer clever/smart/intelligent,brave,stay calm in d
5、angerWhile escaping,the tiger came across a jackal,who suggested they go back to the cave to find out the truth.What happenedAgree?didnt want to take a chance;afraid of being left alone to dieJackals proposal?knot their tails together;never leave Agree?agreed unwillinglyWhy?frightened;didnt trust th
6、e jackal.cowardly,timidthe tigerthe jackalcunning(狡猾的)，not reliable in the eyes of the tiger整体阅读，确定故事基本情节who,when,where,what happed,how would the story continue sout out the ten words一早，明媚的阳光照耀在蓝色的大海上，我和迈克叔叔登上他的小船去海里钓鱼。续写材料的文体和文体特征didnt want to take a chance;afraid of being left alone to dieJackals
7、proposal?(adv,+句子)The cunning jackal was now sure the tigher was.心理：The deer was frieghtened.cunning(狡猾的)，好词好句摘抄，分类整理；stayed calm and thought of a plan一早，明媚的阳光照耀在蔚蓝色的大海上，我和迈克叔叔登上他的小船，去海里钓鱼。In order to convince the tiger,the jackal tied their tails in a not and then went towards the cave togethe.They
8、 bit off the tips of the corn and trampled down the stubble.While escaping,the tiger came across a jackal who suggested they go back to find out the truth.优秀作业集锦，打印下发，共同学习；whowhenwherewhat happenedsummarize the storywhoMother deer and her fawns;a tiger;a jackalwhenwhen the mother deer was trying to
9、lead her young ones out of the cavewherein the tigers cavewhat happenedMother deer saw the tiger coming towards the cave.She thought of a plan to scare the tiger away.The tiger came across a jackal who suggested they go back to the cave to find out the truth.In order to convince the tiger,the jackal
10、 tied their tails in a not and walked towads the cave together.summarize the storyOne day when mother deer was trying to lead her young ones out of the cave she saw the tiger coming towards it.Staying calm,she thought of a plan to scare the tiger away.While escaping,the tiger came across a jackal wh
11、o suggested they go back to find out the truth.In order to convince the tiger,the jackal tied their tails in a not and then went towards the cave togethe.人物性格分析1.从人物的动作中2.从人物的言语中3.从他人的评价中whotraitswhotraitsMother deerclever/smart/intelligent,brave,stay calm in dangerthe tigercowardly,timidjackalcunni
12、ng,not reliable in the eyes of the tigherPara.1 The deer saw the jackal and the tiger coming together.Para.2 The tiger was shocked to hear this and he was sure now the jackal cheated him.Task III:What to write?What did the deer say that shocked the tiger and convinced him he was cheated by the jacka
13、l?Think about what the jackal did to the tiger just now?persuade the tiger to return to the cave;knot their tails together How would the jackal cheat the tiger by doing so?the tigerclever/smart/intelligent,brave,stay calm in dangercowardly,timidMother deer the jackalcunning(狡猾的)，not reliable in the
14、eyes of the tigerHow frightened would the deer feel when seeing the tiger and the jackal coming?Would the tiger have a peaceful talk with the fierce animal since he was afraid to be eaten by him?Was he easily fooled?If he heard he would be eaten,would he believe it and get scared?Para.1 The deer saw
15、 the jackal and the tiger coming together.Para.2 The tiger was shocked to hear this and he was sure now the jackal cheated him.Task II:What to write?How did the tiger feel and what would he do?What would happen to the tiger,the jackal and the deer in the end?Theme:intelligence can save one from dang
16、erous situations续写情节发展1.1.情节合理、上下文衔接连贯；情节合理、上下文衔接连贯；2.2.已知情节已知情节+第二段开头句推断第二段开头句推断第一段可能的情节发展；第一段可能的情节发展；3.3.人物性格和情节创设要吻合；人物性格和情节创设要吻合；4.4.渲染、升华主题渲染、升华主题 （寓言、心（寓言、心灵鸡汤类的文本）。灵鸡汤类的文本）。sout out the ten wordssout out the ten wordsmain charactersdeer,tiger,jackalwherecavenounsvoice,tails,cowardverbscapture
17、,escapeadjectivepowerfulQuestions for the continued plotspara 1para 2Questions for the continued plotspara 1para 2The deer saw the jackal and the tiger coming together.The tiger was shocked to hear this and he was sure now the jackal cheated him.1.What did the deer say that shocked the tiger and con
18、vinced him that he was cheated by the jackal?1.How did the tiger feel and what would he do?2.What the jackal did to the tiger just now?2.What would happen to the tiger,the jackal and the deer in the end?3.How would the jackal cheat the tiger by doing so?关于语言那些事儿1.1.句式单一，只会简单句；句式单一，只会简单句；2.2.语法错误严重，句
19、不成句；语法错误严重，句不成句；3.3.词汇严重缺乏，词不达意；词汇严重缺乏，词不达意；4.4.中式英语，缺乏地道表达；中式英语，缺乏地道表达；5.5.标点混乱，往往一逗到底。标点混乱，往往一逗到底。1.1.地道的语言输入，阅读地道的语言输入，阅读原文、原文、原著，原著，培养语感和文学修养；培养语感和文学修养；2.2.语言微技能训练；语言微技能训练；3.3.好词好句摘抄，分类整理；好词好句摘抄，分类整理；读写续地道的语言输入，阅读地道的语言输入，阅读原文、原文、原著，原著，培养语感和文学修养；培养语感和文学修养；语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训
20、练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练语言微技能训练从句子仿写说起基本学情基本学情语法基础很差，句子结构意识薄弱平时很忙，没时间看好书好文章肚子里没货，积累量少，流于表面基本操作：基本操作：选取典型句子作为仿写对象分析句子，划出句子主要成分用该句子框架完成给定语言的翻译翻译句子，完成句子框架结构式用该句子框架学生自主完成新句子的创造 Yesterday when the bright sun blazed down on the wilted corn my father and I walked around the edge of the new grou
21、nd to plan a fence.The cows kept coming through the chestnut oaks on the cliff and running over the young corn.They bit off the tips of the corn and trampled down the stubble.Love示例：示例：Yesterday when the bright sun blazed down on the wilted corn my father and I walked around the edge of the new grou
22、nd to plan a fence.The cows kept coming through the chestnut oaks on the cliff and running over the young corn.They bit off the tips of the corn and trampled down the stubble.Love示例：示例：Yesterday when the bright sun blazed down on the wilted corn my father and I walked around the edge of the new grou
23、nd to plan a fence.示例：示例：昨日，当灿烂的阳光照在枯萎昨日，当灿烂的阳光照在枯萎的玉米苗上，我和父亲沿着一的玉米苗上，我和父亲沿着一片新地边缘，边走边商议着建片新地边缘，边走边商议着建栅栏的事情。栅栏的事情。结构结构时状（时状（+定从）定从）+S+V+地状地状+目的状语目的状语翻译翻译一早，明媚的阳光照耀在蓝色一早，明媚的阳光照耀在蓝色的大海上，我和迈克叔叔登上的大海上，我和迈克叔叔登上他的小船去海里钓鱼。他的小船去海里钓鱼。when the bright sun blazed down on the blue sea Uncle Mike and I went aboa
24、rd his small boat.造句造句学生自己造句需要时间，往往留学生自己造句需要时间，往往留作作业，课后完成。作作业，课后完成。评价：评价：抽样批改，课内集中评讲作业中的错误；抽样批改，课内集中评讲作业中的错误；小组展示一份经过共同修改过的某一个小组展示一份经过共同修改过的某一个组员的作业，教师和学生一起赏析；组员的作业，教师和学生一起赏析；优秀作业集锦，打印下发，共同学习；优秀作业集锦，打印下发，共同学习；Yesterday when the bright sun blazed down on the wilted corn my father and I walked around
25、 the edge of the new ground to plan a fence.The cows kept coming through the chestnut oaks on the cliff and running over the young corn.They bit off the tips of the corn and trampled down the stubble.Love段落仿写：段落仿写：结构结构时状（时状（+定从）定从）+S1+V1.+（S2+V2.+S2+V3.）并列并列翻译翻译一早，明媚的阳光照耀在蔚蓝色的大海上，我和一早，明媚的阳光照耀在蔚蓝色的大海
26、上，我和迈克叔叔登上他的小船，去海里钓鱼。远处，一迈克叔叔登上他的小船，去海里钓鱼。远处，一只白色的海鸥像一个调皮的精灵在阳光下灵活地只白色的海鸥像一个调皮的精灵在阳光下灵活地飞翔着。一会儿，它俯冲向海，一会儿它又快速飞翔着。一会儿，它俯冲向海，一会儿它又快速地向蓝天飞去，在空中留下一个令人惊叹的身影。地向蓝天飞去，在空中留下一个令人惊叹的身影。Early in the morning when the bright sun blazed down on the blue sea Uncle Mike and I went aboard his small boat to go fishing
27、 in the sea.Farther in the distance,a seagull with white fur flew swiftly like a naughty spirit in the sunlight.One moment,it dived towards the sea and the next it flew quickly up towards the blue sky,leaving a stunning figure in the air.反向思考：反向思考：以仿写创造出的句子为基础，可否再扩写以仿写创造出的句子为基础，可否再扩写出一至二句出一至二句,甚至更多？
28、甚至更多？示例：示例：It was a picture of an adorable little girl,wearing her red soccer unifom and holding a bike helmet.S+V+P,+doing 1.+doing 2.It was a little girl,wearing a pair of worn-out shoes and trembling in the chilly air.There stood a little girl示例：示例：Hearing the knock on the door,Granny Mary stoppe
29、d washing the dishes,truned aroud and walked over slowly to open the door.It was a little girl,wearing a pair of worn-out shoes and trembling in the chilly air.示例：示例：Hearing the knock on the door,Granny Mary stopped washing the dishes,truned aroud and walked over slowly to open the door.It was a lit
30、tle girl,wearing a pair of worn-out shoes and trembling in the chilly air.The snow kept swirling down,immersing her into the white cold world.意义何在？意义何在？分析句子结构式使学生更好地了解各种句式；分析句子结构式使学生更好地了解各种句式；模仿翻译，使学生有句可依，降低难度，提升模仿翻译，使学生有句可依，降低难度，提升信心，愿意去写；信心，愿意去写；创造性写作不再是梦想，学生可以慢慢学会给创造性写作不再是梦想，学生可以慢慢学会给一个基点去编写更多的故事情节；一个基点去编写更多的故事情节；意义何在？意义何在？语感逐渐增强，语法基础逐渐巩固；语感逐渐增强，语法基础逐渐巩固；由于需要创造性写作，迫使学生提取大量的已由于需要创造性写作，迫使学生提取大量的已学知识，且不断发现自己的漏洞，不断加以摄学知识，且不断发现自己的漏洞，不断加以摄入。过脑后的知识更容易记住，积累也就变成入。过脑后的知识更容易记住，积累也就变成实实在在的知识了。实实在在的知识了。好词好句摘抄，分类整理好词好句摘抄，分类整理从一切语言学习材料中固变
