1、作文讲评作文讲评Teaching AimsAt the end of the class,the students are supposed to 1.be more aware of mistakes made in their articles 2.know more about the right ways of writing 3.be able to polish up their writingsLead-in1.What can be called a good article?【评分标准】【评分标准】内容完整，语言规范，语篇连内容完整，语言规范，语篇连贯，词数适当。贯，词数适当
2、。2.What are the difficulties you meet in writing articles?1).加强基础词汇和基本句子结构学习。加强基础词汇和基本句子结构学习。2).提高综合运用复合句的能力。提高综合运用复合句的能力。3).注意句子间的过渡和衔接。注意句子间的过渡和衔接。4).仿写、背诵、熟读话题范文。仿写、背诵、熟读话题范文。Comments on the writings Strong points:Strong points:If so,we will build an environmentally friendly society.(省略句)(邢臻)Last
3、 but not least,when riding bikes,we will feel more relaxed after the whole days hard work.(省略句)(邓雪怡)Use bike-sharing,and you will find that it is useful.（祈使句+and+陈述句）(张子莹)As far as the promoting of the bike-sharing is concerned,I think.(活用句型)(吴雨欣)Above are my opinions.（倒装）(吴雨欣)I cant be in more favo
4、r of it.（cant.more句型）(胡慧月).bicycle riding is the least expensive way of traveling apart from walking.(adj最高级用于否定表达)(吕露露、程亚玮)We are supposed to achieve a balance between development and nature.（achieve a balance between.高级词汇）(陶敏)However,its our duty to protect the environment which we rely on.(it作形式主
5、语，rely on高级词汇,复杂结构)(陶敏)It can also build social bonds between people.(高级词汇)(陈楚乔)This is one of the greatest invitations to traffic accidents.(高级词汇)(吕梦娟)Notice:They have achieved much in advanced phrases and sentence structures.We should learn from them.Weak points:错误统计：错误统计：高二高二13（41人）人）错误类型错误类型数量数量
6、搭配错误搭配错误50单复数错误单复数错误 35单词拼写单词拼写31动词运用动词运用19词性词性14句首大小写句首大小写 141.Collocation1.Collocation搭配错误搭配错误.because bikes are almost distributed to everywhere.Although the service of the bike-sharing is not well,it can bring some advantages.good you can find it easily and only pay for a little money.so,we shou
7、ld encourage people to ride Bike-sharing quite often than driving.but the bike-sharing service still exists some problem.bicyclesbut some problems with bike-sharing service still exist.2.Singular and plural单复数错误 1）单复数）单复数 In China,many vehicles like bus and cars pollute environment badly.Whats more,
8、the destruction of bike-sharing is a big problems.buses2 2）AgreementAgreement主谓一致主谓一致 it seems that Bike-sharing give away peoples information.Whats more,it bring a big convenience to people.ss3.Spelling3.Spelling单词拼写错误单词拼写错误 we should help introduct the bike-sharing to everyone.Besides,if city is c
9、rowed with cars during rush hours,the citizen can use those bikes to their companies as soon as possible.First,with the developing of sociaty,there are more and more cars on the road.introducecrowdedsociety4.Usage of verbs4.Usage of verbs动词处理不当动词处理不当,the new service named bike-sharing is appeared.Ho
10、wever,there has been some problems appeared.appearsHowever,some problems exist.5.Part of speech5.Part of speech词性错误词性错误 First,it is very convenience for travelers to travel in the city.Riding bikes is a good way to keep health.convenienthealthy6.Capitalized letters6.Capitalized letters大小写错误大小写错误 On
11、the one hand,It is very convenient for us to use a bike-sharing.In conclusion,The promoting of the bike-sharing service is of beneficial to us.itthe Notice:More attention must be paid to these mistakes in your daily English study.task-based writing读写类作文读写类作文 1.用约用约30个单词概述上述信息的主要内容；个单词概述上述信息的主要内容；考查考
12、查阅读及概括能力，以及语言组织能力。阅读及概括能力，以及语言组织能力。2.用约用约120个单词发表你的观点，内容包括：个单词发表你的观点，内容包括：（1）支持成反对共享单车的推广；）支持成反对共享单车的推广；（2）用）用2-3个理由或论据支撑你的观点。个理由或论据支撑你的观点。考查分析问题、解决问题的能力，内容组织能力考查分析问题、解决问题的能力，内容组织能力。1.1.审题：读出信息，进行概括。审题：读出信息，进行概括。Bike-sharing has taken off in China far faster than in any other market.The market has b
13、ecome flooded with new companies in recent months.The bike-sharing companies operate in a similar way.They use apps that allow users,after paying a deposit,to unlock the wheels with their smartphones.After the journey,users can leave bikes anywhere in public and pay a little money for the use.The se
14、rvice is very popular as it provides an effective solution to“the last kilometer”problem.The promoting of the bike-sharing service is also raising questions about profitability,wide-spread bike vandalism(破坏破坏)and theft,and growing government regulation.A Hong Kong man who was arrested for throwing s
15、everal shared bikes into rivers said he had no regret destroying them because”the GPS devices in the bikes give away users personal information,such as their locations.”现象现象好处好处问题问题2.2.把握第一段把握第一段:比较哪个开头好比较哪个开头好 1.Bike-sharing,claiming to be user-friendly and affordable,has recently caught on through
16、out China.However,lack of regulation gives birth to various social problems,such as bike vandalism and theft.2.Bike-sharing is very popular in China nowadays.The companies product it that in a similar way.However,someone theft it for which indicates personal information.现现象象好处好处问题问题现现象象问题问题好处好处?3.Wi
17、th the development of technology,bike-sharing is turning up.Because of its too short,there are a lot of problems exists.Bike-sharing as a new way of traffic,turning up our life.Although the service of the bike-sharing is not well,it can bring some advantages.For example,its convenient for us.要点重复，要点
18、重复，杂乱杂乱 Notice:1.cover the main points.2.(1).现象现象(2).好处好处(3).问题问题 3.三个要点，三个要点，5分，每点分，每点2分分.3.3.充实第二段：充实第二段：arguments to support your idea.要求：用约要求：用约120个单词发表你的观个单词发表你的观点，内容包括：点，内容包括：（1）支持成反对共享单车的推广；）支持成反对共享单车的推广；（2）用）用2-3个理由或论据支撑你的个理由或论据支撑你的观点。观点。不足分析：不足分析：I argue with Bike-sharing service.First,it i
19、s very convenient for travelers to travel in the city.When you in an unfamiliar city,you can use the bike to go around.Whats more,Bike-sharing service help us live in better environment.When you ride a bike instead of taking a taxi,the air pollution will reduce and the air in the city will become mo
20、re fresh.The last but not least,the Bike-sharing service help city life in a healthier way.Many people in the city benefit from the service.topic sentence?supporting sentences Notice:1.主题句主题句Topic sentence 3分，很重分，很重要！赞成或反对，观点要明确，要！赞成或反对，观点要明确，不能骑墙！不能骑墙！2.2-3论据，每个论据，每个5分分,共共10分分。3.衔接手段衔接手段,3分。分。4.中间段
21、内容要充实，说理要有条理中间段内容要充实，说理要有条理性和层次性。性和层次性。试与下文比较试与下文比较 2.Undoubtedly,I am in favor of the promoting of the bike-sharing service.The reasons accounting for my opinion lie in two aspects coming from individual and society respectively.On one hand,so convenient is bike-sharing that it saves the time which
22、 could have been wasted on traffic.On the other hand,in terms of social benefits,bike-sharing can gradually reduce the use of private cars,thus providing citizens with a more satisfying environment.topic sentence!Supporting sentences4.不忘结论不忘结论：Which of the following passages can be used?1.In additio
23、n,using bike-sharing can benefit for air pollution,because when we go for a place which is from a short distance,we can choose bike-sharing instead of private cars.2.Therefore,in order to help bike-sharing develop better,we users should bear the responsibility to put the bike in place.Moreover,gover
24、nment ought to publish laws to regulate it.Only when joint efforts are made can bike-sharing enjoy a bright future.还在论证还在论证 3.I think you can agree with me.4.Therefore,I support the widespread use of it,I think it will make our life more peaceful and harmonious.5.The bike-sharing has so many creativ
25、e effects that offer a chance to make people go on a trip or go working in a faster way,and also can make users keep health.So it is popular in the whole China.一厢情愿一厢情愿还在描述还在描述 Notice:Dont forget your conclusion.结论：结论：重申自己的观点，呼应前文。重申自己的观点，呼应前文。结论部分，结论部分，4分。分。范文欣赏范文欣赏 Recently,bike-sharing service ha
26、s gained considerable popularity,allowing users to conveniently travel with bicycles provided.However,issues like vandalism,theft and so on has also arisen.From my perspective,I am absolutely for this wise idea.To begin with,bike-sharing service offers a time-saving way to those who are hurrying to
27、their destinations or having trouble finishing kilometers of journeys entirely on foot,proving a convenience or even necessity without much expenses consequently.But for this brilliant service,many citizens would have struggled their way home or to work.Moreover,in a gesture to keep this bike-sharin
28、g system in order,individuals may pay extra attention to the regulation and protection of the bikes.Therefore,peoples awareness of social responsibility can be significantly raised,enhancing peoples self-discipline level and shaping their moral values.Taking the factors above into consideration,we c
29、an safely draw the conclusion that bike-sharing is a reasonable service.出彩词汇 gain considerable popularity;in a gesture to do sth.;keep.in order;take sth.into consideration 所用句型和手法but for,would have done;to those who are;be significantly raised;draw the conclusion that;allowing;proving;enhancing;shap
30、ing;taking衔接手段 however;from my perspective;to begin with;moreover;therefore.Suggestions:Practice makes perfect!Study hard every day Practice makes perfect!Study hard every day and improve your writing step by step:and improve your writing step by step:1.加强基础词汇和基本句子结构学习。加强基础词汇和基本句子结构学习。2.提高综合运用复合句的能力
31、。提高综合运用复合句的能力。3.注意句子间的过渡和衔接。注意句子间的过渡和衔接。4.仿写、背诵、熟读话题范文。仿写、背诵、熟读话题范文。Homework 1.Rewrite your articles 2.And finish the exercises in the papers附录（高二）错误类型（高二）错误类型数量数量搭配错误搭配错误50单复数错误单复数错误35单词拼写单词拼写31动词运用动词运用19词性词性14句首大小写句首大小写14（高三）错误类型（高三）错误类型数量数量搭配错误搭配错误52单复数错误单复数错误40单词拼写单词拼写35动词运用动词运用27词性词性28句首大小写句首大小
32、写5定语从句高二高二(数量数量)高三高三(数量数量)Which1917That 98Who59Whose 10Why10As114-21名词性从句高二（数量）高三（数量）主语从句what18形式主语it 33宾语从句2223形式宾语01表语从句33同位语从句Problem1Problem2;convenience1;debate1;view2;fact1question1Requirement1;basis1;Tendency1;doubt1;Saying1;suggestion1状语从句高二（数量）高三（数量）条件If10;so long as1If15;only if1;providing
33、1;on condition that1;省略2时间When10;while3;as soon as1;省略5when9;while3;省略1地点where20结果So that8So that4原因Because7;since1Because3;as2;since1比较as1Than2;what2;as3让步Although7;wherever2Although1;no matter where1其他高二（数量）高三（数量）并列句And14;And10;but4;while2Not onlybut also2Not onlybut also3倒装Above3;not onlybut also1;only12Above1;only9虚拟12强调03存在27Cant more10祈使+and+陈述 1023分23分 20分16分12分9分6分
