1、l 评书面表达l 试题原题l 假定你是李华，暑假想去一家外资公司兼职，已写好申请书和个人简历（resume）。给外教 Ms.Jenkins 写信，请她帮助你修改所附材料的文字和格式（format）。l 注意：1.词数100左右；l 2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。l 试题分析l 今年书面表达一如既往坚持“与学生的生活、学习”相关话题的写作，话题熟悉，难易适中，为不同水平的学生都有不同程度的发挥提供了可能。l(1)自我介绍。（不介绍自己，外教咋知道咱是谁啊）l(2)解释缘由。(为什么要写这封信，和自我介绍衔接连贯，相辅相成)l(3)说明为何写信。(修改所附材料的文字和格式)l(4)提示所附材
2、料。l(5)表示感谢。（这是必须的，一定要表示感谢，否则不礼貌，说不定还会扣分滴）l 得分情况山东抽样调查，平均分13.15分。l 大部分集中在1118分之间，中间得分多，较低分和较高分相对较少。l(1)审题错误：一看到“申请书”“个人简历”字样，就写成了求职信和申请书。l(2)要点遗漏：尤其是上面要点1和要点5。l(3)语篇错误：逻辑混乱，衔接不当，连接词和关联词用得多，用得杂，用得牵强。l(4)句子表达错误：用词不当、句式混乱，chinglish较多。l(5)单词 拼写错误:错词较多，书写不规范。l(1)五档作文在眼里-抓标准。五档作文评分标准一定要展示给学生。l(2)力保审题过程要“全”
3、：审文体、审格式、审人称、审时态、审要点。l(3)力保表达过程要“准”：精准运用五大基本句型，精准规避三类错误：词类错误、语法错误、汉语思维。(4)四大基本原则：具体性原则 good-kind-hearted,easy-going新颖性原则 difficult-challenging短语优先原则:use-make use of避免词汇重复原则-like-enjoy,build-set up(5)适当运用高级词汇：如适当运用高级词汇：如many-a great number of,rich-abundant(6)变化句式结构，增加得分亮点：变化句式结构，增加得分亮点：肯定不如双否好；肯定不如双否
4、好；陈述不如倒装妙；陈述不如倒装妙；主动不如被动巧；主动不如被动巧；简单不如并列、复合强；简单不如并列、复合强；非谓语结构不能少；非谓语结构不能少；简单句变身有妙招；简单句变身有妙招；篇章结构巧连贯。篇章结构巧连贯。(7)“起起”好开头、好开头、“承承”好上下、好上下、“转转”好过渡、好过渡、“合合”好结尾。好结尾。参考范文参考范文粉红色表示布局谋篇，深红色字表示文章提示的要点。Dear Ms Jenkins,（称呼，不能少）Im Li Hua from your English writing class last term(自我介绍).Im writing to ask for your
5、help(解释缘由).Im applying for a part-time job at a foreign company in my city during the summer vacation,and I have just finished my application letter and resume(详细阐述写信理由和事件经过).However,I am not quite sure of the language and the format Ive used（交代自己的困难）.I know you have a busy schedule,but Id be very g
6、rateful if you could take some time to go through them and make necessary changes（重申写信目的）.Please find my application letter and resume in the attachment(提示所附材料).Thank you for your kindness!(表示感谢，必须写出)Yours,Li Hua（结尾，格式不能错）范文：范文：Dear Ms Jenkins,I am Li Hua,I am writing to tell you something about my
7、plan for the coming summer vacation and I also want you to do me a favor.In order to get some practical experience,I am planning to take a part-time job in a foreign capital company.I have already finished my job application and personal resume.But this is the first time that I have written an appli
8、cation and the personal resume,so I dont even know if there are something to pay attention to.So,Im writing you the letter,hoping you can give me some help.I will be very grateful if you can help me.Looking forward to your reply.And Id be really thankful.Yours,Li Hua2015 评分总则：评分总则：1、本题总分为25分，按5个档次给分
9、。2、评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定是否达到及格线（15分），然后确定其所属的具体档次，以该档次的要求来衡量，最后给分。其所属档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。3、词数少于80和多于120的，从总分中减去2分。4、评分时应注意的主要内容为：内容要点、应用词汇和语法结构的丰富性和准确性及上下文的连贯性。5、若缺少要点，分数降一档处理。6、拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。7、书写较差以至于影响交际，将其分数降低一个档次。评分细则：评分细则：优秀（22-25）：紧扣主题，覆盖所有要点，内容充实；
10、语法结构多样，词汇丰富，行文流畅，显示出较强的语言运用能力，允许有个别语言错误，但不影响意思表达。良好（18-21）：紧扣主题，覆盖所有要点，内容较充实，行文较流畅，语言有少量错误，但基本不影响意思表达。一般（15-17）：紧扣主题，基本覆盖所有要点，语言错误已影响了部分意思的表达，但多数句子基本正确；基本达到预期写作目的。较差（11-14）：要点不全，内容不完整，行文不够连贯；语言错误较多，半数句子基本正确。差（6-10）：内容混乱，或主要内容偏离主题，尚能够写出少数与内容相关的可读句。极差（0-5）：只能写出与内容相关的词语，没有有效信息；抄写其他文章，或只是写出与作文无关的内容。1.本题
11、总分为25分，按5个档次给分。2 评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次，然后以该档次 的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。3.词数少于 80和多于 120的，从总分中减去2分。4.评分时，应注意的主要内容为：内容要点、应用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性、上下文的连贯性及语言的得体性。5.拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影 响程度予以考虑。6.如书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数降低一个档次。【各档次的给分范围和要求各档次的给分范围和要求】第五档第五档(很好很好)；(21-25分分)1.完全完成了试题规定的任务。2.覆盖所有内容要点。3.应用了较多的语法结构
12、和词汇。4.语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言运用能力。5.有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。6.完全达到了预期的写作目的。第四档第四档(好好)：(16-20(16-20分分)1.完全完成了试题规定的任务。2.虽漏掉1、2个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容。3.应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。4.语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致。5.应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。6.达到了预期的写作目的。第三档第三档(适当适当)：(11-15(11-15分分)1.基本完成了试题规定的任务。2
13、.虽漏掉一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容。3.应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。4.有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。5.应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。6.整体而言，基本达到了预期的写作目的。第二档第二档(较差较差)：(6-10(6-10分分)1.未恰当完成试题规定的任务。2.漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容，写了一些无关内容。3.语法结构单调、词汇项目有限。4.有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响了对写作内容的理解。5.较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性。6.信息未能清楚地传达给读者。第一档第一档(差差)：(1-5(1-5分分)1.未完成试题规定的任务。2.明显遗
14、漏主要内容，写了一些无关内容，原因可能是未理解试题要求。3.语法结构单调、词汇项目有限。4.较多语法结构或词汇方面的错误，影响对写作内容的理解。5.缺乏语句间的连接成分，内容不连贯。6.信息未能传达给读者。不得分：（0分）未能传达给读者仟何信息：内容太少，无法评判；写的内容均与所要求内容无关或所写内容无法看清。【作文题作文题】假定你是李华，你校英文报假定你是李华，你校英文报“外国文化外国文化”栏目拟刊登美国节日风俗和中学生生活的短文。请栏目拟刊登美国节日风俗和中学生生活的短文。请给美国朋友彼得写信约稿，要点如下：给美国朋友彼得写信约稿，要点如下：1.栏目介绍栏目介绍;2.稿件内容稿件内容;3.
15、稿件长度：约稿件长度：约 400 词词;4.交稿日期：交稿日期：6 月月 28 日前。日前。注意：注意：1.词数词数 100 左右左右;2.可以适当增加细节，可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯以使行文连贯;3.开头语已为你写好。开头语已为你写好。Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper._1.阅卷组确定的阅卷组确定的24分作文范例分作文范例Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools En
16、glish newspaper.Recently a refreshing program has been established in our schools English newspaper which is named“The Foreign Culture”.Im inclined to invite you to write an article.The importance concerning this issue is listed as follows.This program is aiming to introduce the festivals and habits
17、 in America,especially including the life of students in high school.Consequently,I intend to inquest you to write some matters.Such as what the individuals tend to do when significant events are forthcoming.Additionally,its universally acknowledged that American students have extremely active thoug
18、hts.Considering that how they study in school is what we indeed intend to attain.Whats more,it must be beared in mind that the articles are supposed to be around 400 words.Meanwhile,I anticipate you can finish it before 28th,June.Im looking forward to your conclusive reply.(140 words)2.阅卷组确定的22分作文范例
19、Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.It will be put on the part of Foreign Culture,which aims to introduce many other countries culture.This article needs to be concerned with America festival custom and middle school students life.As you are American s
20、tudent,its certain that you can teach us a large amount of knowledge about it.As is known to all,only if we learn American Culture well,can we truly understand the country.Therefore,Id appreciate it if you write article.There are some requirements below.The essay is around 400 words.Besides,it has t
21、o be sent before June,the 28th.If you have other questions,please write to me as soon as possible.(112 words)3.阅卷组确定的18分作文范例Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.We have an area named“Foreign Culture”.Its used to introduce Americas customs and students d
22、aily life.Could you write an essay for me.Initially please write some traditional festivals to enlarge our horizons.Some interesting things in your school life is also fine.Moreover,please write more than 400 words.So we can edidate is better.Eventually,the deadline is 6,28 because our work must be
23、finished in these days.Dont be late please？Here are my words.Thanks for attention.Looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.(92 words)4.阅卷组确定的15分作文范例Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.The English newspaper have a“foreign culture”progr
24、am.If your article is written well,it will be select in newspaper.The article is about American festivals and customs,besides inclouded media school students life.There is no doubt that you can make it.Because you is familiar with them.In opinion,you can also increase students how to study.Most impo
25、rtantly,your article can help us broaden horizon and let us know more American culture.You need to write about 400 words.Last but not least,you must hand in it before June,28th.Im looking forward to your early reply.(101 words)5.阅卷组确定的12分作文范例Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our
26、schools English newspaper.The English newspaper has a show which is made describes for American Traditional Day Culture and middle school students school life.I think you had much knowledge about them.Therefore,I want to that you could write a paragraph for them.You can write about 400 words.In addi
27、tion,the paragraph should finished and put on before June,28th.I believe you are able to do well.Im looking forward to your information.Thanks about your favour.(77 words)6.阅卷组确定的9分作文范例Dear Peter,Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.The newspapers“Foreign Culture”
28、part plan add an article of product the USAs festival and students life.Then,I tell some about it.First of all,the article must about the USAs Festival and students life,you can write the students study behaviour.And write the USAs festival behaviour.In addition,the article you need take 400 words.D
29、ont write a very large artist.You can make a simple production.At last the articles deadline is before 28th,June.I believe you can finish better.Best wishes.(87 words)l 7.阅卷组确定的4分作文范例l Dear Peter,l Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.l My name is Li Hua.I need yo
30、u help.thank you.I hope you write the USA style and student live.I need you help.I need you letter.letter need to 400,in 6,28.need to your letter.thank you.(41 words)l 三点关键定档因素(不跑题是前提)l 词汇多样性l 语法复杂性l 文章连贯性l 书面表达的五项秘诀：l 审题，遣词，造句，润色，谋篇l 拿到试卷后，首先浏览书面表达的题目，研究题目要求。正确的审题内容包括l A、审标题l B、审体裁l C、审要点。l 审标题：看文章
31、是否要求有题目(title)或者主题(topic)能够确保你不跑题;l 审体裁：确能够定文章的文体，为你写作提供方向。l 审要点：如果英语作文中，有要求要点的，一般打分时是踩点给分的，准确把握住要点，是高分的一个诀窍。l 总结归纳要点：不是所有内容都要写出来，而是抓住其中的关键要点、衔接要点!l 理顺要点：将提炼的要点按逻辑关系(如时间关系、因果关系、转折关系等)重新安排，这样整篇文章看起来就整体有序，流畅自然，更加容易打动评分老师，从而作文分数提升一档。l 构思文章提纲：根据题目的要点，安排好段落和主次关系。要形成良好的分段意识，写作分段是必须要进行的(2至4段为佳)，这样显得文章不会拥挤并
32、且层次分明。在行文意识上，要注意突出要点。不出现语言错误词语和短语搭配适度使用加分词汇避免词语重复注意词语和短语搭配使用可以适度的使用加分词句：高级词、同义词、短语等替代l 表达意思要清楚无误。l 多种表达方式表达相同含义l 避免句式单调(简单句，并列句，复合句等适度调整)l 表达意思清楚无误：具体化，细节化l 注意分段、详略搭配、注意连贯l 行文时多用关联词、引导词，把文章句子通过各种关系整合起来，达到起承转合，运用自如的目的，从而获取高分。l 具体的连接关系有：并列关系、递进关系、因果关系、转折关系、让步关系、列举关系、条件关系、举例关系、时间关系等。一、有以下情况之一的，在正常评分以后再
33、扣9分 （出手非常狠）1.全文没有使用任何较复杂语言结构，如从句、倒装句等。2.全文没有使用任何比较高级的表达方式的。3.全文没有使用任何关联词语的。二、有以下情况之一的，在正常评分以后再扣5分 （这个一定要知道）1.书写潦草，不规范，影响理解的。2.卷面不洁，乱涂改的。3.因审题不清而全文人称使用错误的。4.动词、时态、人称错误达3处以上的。5.句子结构严重错误达3处以上的。评分标准细则：评分标准细则：书面表达血的教训书面表达书面表达血血的教训的教训三、有以下情况之一的，在正常评分以后再扣三、有以下情况之一的，在正常评分以后再扣2分分 1.全文不分段全文不分段 2.词数少于词数少于120 3
34、.词数多于词数多于150四、有以下情况之一的，扣四、有以下情况之一的，扣2分分 1.每遗漏一个次要点的。每遗漏一个次要点的。2.冠词、介词用错，其他单词拼写错误分别达冠词、介词用错，其他单词拼写错误分别达4处处以上的。以上的。3.大小写、标点符号分别达大小写、标点符号分别达4处以上的。处以上的。五、有以下情况之一的，扣五、有以下情况之一的，扣5分分 每遗漏一个主要点的。每遗漏一个主要点的。l“多样性”，是指词汇使用的多样性，如词性的多样性、高级词汇的使用、同义词和反义词的使用、短语的使用等。l 1.词性的多样性l 英语中大多数的单词不止一种词性，转换成另一种方式用另一种词性的形式来表达，就更显
35、得多样了。如：l Increase steadily(平稳地增加）experience a steady increasel decrease sharply(大减)undergo a sharp decreasel It is very helpful.(它帮助很大）It helps a lot./It is of great help.评分标准中提到语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力评分标准中提到语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致“。高级词汇指的是大纲。高级词汇指的是大纲中有但课本中出现频率不高而实际中经常用到，或者大纲中
36、中有但课本中出现频率不高而实际中经常用到，或者大纲中没有列入或没有识记要求，但在实际应用中却比较频繁的词没有列入或没有识记要求，但在实际应用中却比较频繁的词汇包括短语，比如汇包括短语，比如cope with,make sense,make a difference,pessimistic等。等。2.高级词汇的使用Your efforts will be very important.Your efforts will make a great difference.It is wise to buy an up-to date version.It makes sense to buy an
37、an up-to date version.He had to solve all the problems himself.He had to cope with all the problems himself.3.同义词的使用 擅用同义词是优秀作文的一大特点。如果我们能够恰当地使用它们相应的同义词或同义词组，就可以做到与众不同，给平淡的文章增添亮色，给评卷老师带来清新的感觉。如 More and more important increasingly significant Cause result in/lead to/bring about Want to do intend to
38、do/desire to/be eager to do/be crazy about doing So therefore/because of this/for this reason 4.恰当利用短语取代单词 单词的合理运用是优秀作文的基本要素，而恰当地运用短语清楚、连贯地传递信息更能增添句子的文采，显示出作者的功力。如：I tried hard to understand what was happening.I tried hard to figure out what was going on.He refused to listen to his father.He turned
39、a deaf ear to his father.Suddenly i had a good idea.Suddenly i came up with a good idea./A good idea came upon me.“较多的语法结构”就是指句式结构的多样性。1.长短句变换：简单句、并列句和复合句交替运用长句表述具体、说理严密，长于论述推理；短句简洁明快、精炼扼要、明白易懂，长于描述动作、表明主旨、总结归纳。写作时应交替使用，以达到”长短错落有致，句式丰富多样“的效果。（1）复合句和并列句之间的转换If you study hard,youll make progress.Study
40、 hard,and youll make progress.If you dont start off early,youll be late for the bus.Start off early or youll be late for the first bus.She wanted to become a college student,so she studied hard.She studied hard so as to become a college student.She wanted to meet her parents at the station,so she go
41、t up early.She got up very early to meet her parents at the station.(3)使用非谓语动词短语 非谓语动词短语可以变复合句为简单句，产生简洁明快节奏紧凑、表意灵巧的效果。如：Though he has lived in Canada for three years,he still cannot speak English well.Having lived in Canada for three years,he still cannot speak English well.Because I was worried abo
42、ut the time available,I made a detailed list of what I had to do that day.Worried about the time available,I made a detailed list of what I had to do that day.That he had won the game delighted his parents.His winning the game delighted his parents.The car that was repaired yesterday by him is my mo
43、thers.The car repaired yesterday by him is my mothers.If we are united,we stand;if we are divided,we fail.United,we stand;divided,we fail.Today,we use computers not only in our work but in our everyday life as well.Today computers are widely used not only in our work but in our everyday life as well
44、.Some people believe that it will be possible for man to live on another planet in the future.It is believed by some people that it will be possible for man to live on another planet in the future.Their daily lives dont provide them with the exercise needed to keep them healthy.Their daily lives fai
45、l to provide them with the exercise needed to keep them healthy 4.正常语序和倒装语序的交替使用My village lies east of the river.East of the river lies My village.If I had worked hard at school,my life today would be quite different.Had I worked hard at school,my life today would be quite different.u注意：语法结构和词汇的多样性
46、必须建立在语言的准确性的基础上。语言的准确性是写作得分的根本保障，语言的准确性和语法的结构及词汇的多样性直接决定了我们的最终得分。l 评分标准指出，书面表达应该注意上下文的连贯性，并能有效地使用语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。此处所说的连贯性，是指段与段、句与句之间以一种明晰的、合乎逻辑的顺序组织与安排，做到在文意和结构上层次分明，调理清楚，连贯流畅。l 我们需要首先正确理解和把握题目要求以及情景需要，确定好文体后对整个篇章结构的布局、每一部分内容所占的比列了然于心。l 开头部分（opening）-说出文中要叙说的中心问题。l 正文部分（body)-围绕主题开展叙述或者讨论。l 结尾部分（c
47、onclusion）-对全文进行总结和概括。l 主题句是文章的主旨，它能起到画龙点睛的作用。它通常出现在文章的开头，而后，全文对主题句所提出的问题进行解释和扩展。在确定主题句之前，应首先根据写作要求，列出你要写的文章的要点，然后从中提炼出一句具有概括性的话，即文章的主题句。主题句应力求句子完整、语法正确，具有吸引力和可读性。l 主题句仅仅是文章的主旨和大意，要使文章变得有血有肉就要展开主题句，并考虑如何组织安排语句，用一些衔接手段使句子与句子、语段与语段之间建立起各种各样的语意关系，并使整个语篇在意义上具有连贯性。衔接手段主要包括使用过度词语衔接、巧用词汇和语法等几个方面。其中，正确使用过渡词
48、或过渡句是最常用的手段，它能使文章结构严谨、自然流畅和富有节奏。(1)表示添加信息的过渡词语，常见的有：also,besides,moreover,furthermore,in addition,what is more,worse still,similarly(2)表示转折关系的常用过渡词有:but,yet,however,still,nevertheless,in spite of,although,though,on the contrary,on the other hand(3)表示解释、说明关系的常用过渡词有：as a matter of fact,in fact,in othe
49、r words,to tell you the truth,that is to say,that is.such as,according to,after all(4)表示因果关系的常用过渡词有：so,for,therefore,as a result,because,owing to,due to,as a consequence,thus,since,thanks to(5)表示条件关系的常用过渡词有：as(so)long as,on condition that,if,unless,suppose,supposing(6)表示强调的常用衔接词有：above all,first of
50、all,indeed,in particular,no doubt,surely,certainly,truly,without any doubt,obviously(7)表示时间顺序关系的常用衔接词有：now,after,after that,after a while,later,as soon as,in the end,from now on,from then on,meanwhile,to begin with,all of a sudden(8)表示空间顺序关系的常用衔接词有：on the right/left,on the side,here,there,next to,ab
