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How to write a “travelogue”?(游记) Writing Luoyang No.26 Middle School 洛阳市第二十六中学 张晓悦 The world is beautiful! Beauty is right here!Statue of Liberty( 自由女神像) The Pyramids of Egypt 埃及金字塔 The Antarctic Continent is a pure snow world. 南极冰雪世界 The Great Wall in China 中国的万里长城 The Temple of Heaven (天坛) Have you ever been to any beautiful places? Free Talk Where did you go? What did you do ? How did you feel ? Where What How How to keep the memory of your trip forever? How to write a travelogue? (如何书写游记?) Brainstorm(头脑风暴) travelogue How to write a travelogue? travelogue transportation location food people places to visit feeling weather 1 2 3 Put the 3 paragraphs into the right order. Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴刹) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I could discover the new flavors(风味). At last, I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious(宝贵的) experience. I still remember my first trip to Singapore. Last summer vacation, I went there by plane. And I really had an unforgettable trip. What an unforgettable trip! I wish I can go there again if I have a chance. 1 2 3 Put the 3 paragraphs into the right order. Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴刹) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I could discover the new flavors(风味). At last, I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious(宝贵的) experience. I still remember my first trip to Singapore. Last summer vacation, I went there by plane. And I really had an unforgettable trip. What an unforgettable trip! I wish I can go there again if I have a chance. What an unforgettable trip! I wish I can go there again if I have a chance. 2 1 3 I still remember my first trip to Singapore. Last summer vacation, I went there by plane. And I really had an unforgettable trip. Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴刹) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I could discover the new flavors(风味). At last, I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious experience. A Trip to Singapore I still remember my first trip to Singapore. Last summer vacation, I went there by plane. And I really had an unforgettable trip. 1 Try to find the key words. What Where When Who How Feeling I SingaporeLast summer vacation Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴 刹) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I could discover the new flavors(风味). At last, I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious experience. 2 Try to find the key words. What How Feeling Merlion Park relaxing. Lau Pa Sat food.great Night Safari precious What an unforgettable trip! I wish I can go there again if I have a chance. 3 Try to find the key words. Feeling unforgettable Mind Map WhoWhereWhen Paragraph 1 Paragraph 2 What How Paragraph 3 Feeling How to write a passage more coherently ? (连贯地 ) What an unforgettable trip! I wish I can go there again if I have a chance. 2 1 3 How to write a passage more coherently(连贯地) ? I still remember my first trip to Singapore. Last summer vacation, I went there by plane. And I really had an unforgettable trip. Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴刹) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I discover the new flavors(风味). At last , I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious experience. firstly. Then At last What an unforgettable trip! I wish I can go there again if I have a chance. 2 1 3 I still remember my first trip to Singapore. Last summer vacation, I went there by plane. And I really had an unforgettable trip. Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴刹) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I could discover the new flavors(风味). At last, I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious experience. Try to polish(美化) your passage. . Its no secret that the Merlion(鱼尾狮) is the symbol of Singapore. So I visited the Merlion Park firstly. . Besides having a breath of fresh air , strolling(漫步) through the park was also relaxing. Then I walked to Lau Pa Sat(老巴刹 ) where I tried different kinds of new food. One great thing about this place was that I could discover the new flavors(风味). At last , I went to Night Safari (夜间动物园) where I watched animals in a more natural environment than in a normal zoo. As an animal lover, it was my most precious experience. Try to polish(美化) your passage. . The Merlion is the symbol of Singapore. . It was relaxing to have a breath of fresh air. It was also relaxing to stroll through the park. . Writing writing Things You Should Write Down. Try to use connectives (连接词). Try to polish (美化) your passage. Share your own feelings. Try to use the past tense. Peer Checklist (同伴互评表) After reading my classmates travelogue, I know where he/she went (place) YES/NO connectives (连接词) YES/NO good/useful expression (表达) YES/NO his/her own feelings YES/NO when he/she traveled (time) YES/NO who went with him/her (people) YES/NO what he/she did (activity) YES/NO how he/she felt (feeling) YES/NO In my classmates travelogue, I can find The Best TraveloguePeer Check (同伴互评 ) place time people activity feeling connectives (连接词) Homework My favorite teacher Echo, my favorite teacher, is a pretty and slim lady. One of the most important reasons why I like her is that she is very kind. When she talks to others, she always has a smile on her face. I think Echo is a great teacher because she has a lot of good methods on teaching. She is not only quite friendly, but also humorous. Her class is full of fun that you have never feel bored. To improve our grades, she usually gives us some advice on how to learn English well. Whats more, she sacrificed her own time to help us, never thought of gain. When I ask her questions, she must try to make me understand. I have never seen such a good teacher before. Echo has a great influence on me. Im lucky enough to have such a good teacher. Work in groups to find out the mind map of this article. How to describe one person? You! Thank - 1 - 【教材版本教材版本】自选教材 【授课年级授课年级】九年级 【教学内容教学内容】How to Write a Travelogue? (Writing) 【教材说明教材说明】 本课是为配合中考总复习中写作板块而设计的。本课的写作学习任务是结合中 考常见话题游记,要求学生在教师的引导下学会“如何书写一篇游记” 。对于大多 数初中生而言,写一篇 60 至 80 个词的英语作文可能并不是很难,但是要学会如何 构思好一篇内容丰富、表达连贯、有自己的逻辑和真实情感的作文却不是一件容易 的事。中考总复习中,考生在写作板块上存在的问题还是很多的,一节课不可能解 决所有的问题,本课旨在通过以“游记”为一个视角,激发学生开始学会利用 “mind map(思维导图)”思考各种题材的写作提纲,启发学生在写作中利用 “temporal conjunction words(时间连接词)”有条理、完整地叙述文章内容,唤醒学 生“polish(美化)”自己的作文的意识,最终使学生可以在表达自己真实情感的文字 中体验到写作的快乐。 【教学目标教学目标】 1 1语言技能目标语言技能目标 通过本节英语写作课,希望学生了解 travelogue (游记)要写什么内容,并且学会 在写作中利用“temporal conjunction words (时间连接词)”的写作策略来提高中招写 作的连贯表达能力,并且开始有意识地去尝试“polish (美化)”文章。 2 2 情感文化目标情感文化目标 希望学生通过学习书写游记,体会到:写作不止是考试的内容,写作更是记录 世界、生活之美的方式,也是表达自我感受和与他人分享体会的一个重要途径。将 激发学生的写作兴趣和培养学生对于探索未知世界的热情相结合。 3 3学习策略目标学习策略目标 - 2 - 希望学生通过 brainstorm (头脑风暴)活动和 mind map (思维导图)来确定写作的 内容和框架,通过 peer check list (组内互阅互评)来检查和巩固游记话题的写作成果, 在互相学习、借鉴中共同提高。 【重点、难点重点、难点】 1.1.通过分析、阅读范文,总结“mind map (思维导图)”来思考某一题材的 写作思维。 2.2.在写作中利用“temporal conjunction words (连接词)”有条理、完整地叙 述。 3.3.开始有意识地去“polish(美化)”自己的作文。 【教学流程教学流程】 Greeting 通过逐一展示地球上独特的美,引导学生进行 free talk, 一起分享各自在旅行中的美好记忆。 分享后,提出问题:“如何可以将大家的旅行美好记 忆长久地保存下来?” ,自然引出“游记” ,从而呈现本课 的写作话题“如何写游记” 。 教师与学生用英语互动:教师自我介绍并与学生畅聊关于 海口当地的美景。自然引入“旅行”这个话题,并调动学 生参与课堂的积极性,使学生快速融入英语语言氛围。 1. Brainstorm 头脑风暴头脑风暴 引导学生思考:在游记中,可以记述什么信息。学生可 自由发散出可记述的信息。 (例如:地理位置,时间,天 气,当地食物,活动等。 )这为之后的游记写作提供了部 分的具体内容。 Lead-in - 3 - Pre-writing 正式写作前,呈现写作注意事项(注意事项包括: 游记 mind map 中的篇章结构、写作内容、观点和个 人情感,还有过去时态和时间连接词的使用、美化 文章的意识) 。 学生参考写作事项,开始正式写游记。 2. 分析游记例文,进行写作前的指导分析游记例文,进行写作前的指导 呈现一篇教师的新加坡游记作为例文,例文分为三段, 打乱顺序呈现三段。请同学思考并分析,引导思维的层层 推进,排出全文的正确顺序。在分析中,使学生明确游记 写作的篇章结构。 通读游记全文,学生小组讨论。在讨论中找到每段的 key words(关键词) ,引导学生自主逐步总结本篇游记的 mind map (思维导图)。再次梳理游记写作的篇章结构和 写作提纲,为之后的深入写作埋下伏笔。 学生自由选择游记写作的目的地,根据总结好的游记 mind map (思维导图)的提示,学生完成自己的游记 mind map (思维导图),从而确定之后正式写作的内容、表达的 观点或情感。 思考:“如何将思维导图中的信息连贯表达?” 引导学生观察新加坡游记例文中所使用的 temporal conjunction words(连接词) ,使学生了解如何通过连接词, 有条理、完整地叙述游记内容。 提醒学生写作中要有“polish 美化文章”的意识。 教师呈现新加坡游记例文中个别句子的不同表达方法, 使学生品味出哪种表达更优美,从而使学生有意识地去思 考如何增强语言的感染力。 While-writing 1. Group work 学生小组间互阅游记,并借助由写作注意事项改编的 peer check list 进行互评,评出小组内最佳游记。 2. Sharing & Evaluating (分享与评价分享与评价) 投影小组内的最佳游记习作,教师按照写作注意事项 和学生一起评价习作。 - 4 - Post-writing Emotion 【教学步骤教学步骤】 Step 1: Greeting 问候问候 教师与学生用英语互动:教师自我介绍并与学生畅聊海口当地的美景。 【设计意图设计意图】自然引入“旅行”这个话题,并调动学生参与课堂的积极性,使 学生快速融入英语语言氛围。 Step 2: Lead-in 导入写作话题导入写作话题 (1)通过逐一展示地球上独特的美,例如:海口的沙滩和椰树、美国的自由女 神像、埃及的金字塔、南极的冰雪世界以及中国的万里长城和神秘的天坛。使学生 感知:地球上独特的美,需要我们去发现、去探索。 (2)询问学生是否去过一些美丽的地方?是否愿意分享各自的旅行经历? (3)引导学生口头输出 free talk, 通过“什么时间” 、 “去过哪里” 、 “做过什么” 三个问题,分享各自在旅行中的美好记忆。 (4)分享后,提出问题“如何可以将大家的旅行美好记忆长久地保存下来?” , 自然引出创作“travelogue (游记)”这种方式,从而呈现本课的写作话题“How to write a travelogue? (如何写游记) ” 。 【设计意图设计意图】 通过图片展示世界之美,激发学生兴趣和好奇,自然过渡到本课 提高写作兴趣,用文字将世界之美、自我感受记录下来。 教师呈现下次课需要讨论的关于“如何描写人物”的一 篇例文,学生小组活动,自主探讨并尝试总结出描写人 物类文章的 mind map (思维导图)。 Homework - 5 - 的话题:如何学会写“游记” 。同时,本课写作的学习方式也从传统的单纯讲解写作 模板中解放出来。以“游记”这个话题为切入点,在教师与学生、学生与学生的分 享中探讨:如何提高写作兴趣和能力。这样的改变,不仅增加了学生学习的乐趣, 也在写作复习中倡导学生学会有逻辑地写出自己的真实感受。 Step 3: Pre-writing 写作前的准备和指导写作前的准备和指导 (1)Brainstorm (头脑风暴)准备写作素材,明确写什么。 Q: What kinds of information can we write down in a travelogue? 引导学生进行头脑风暴式思考:在游记中,可以记述什么信息。在教师引导下, 学生可自由发散出在游记中他们想要记述的信息。 (例如:地理位置,时间,天气, 当地食物、活动等。 )这为之后的游记写作提供了部分的具体内容。 【设计意图设计意图】 设计头脑风暴这个活动,使学生主动自我发散思考游记所包含的 具体信息。虽然学生风暴出的信息可能只是游记内容的一部分,但却是学生自己最 想表达的部分。经过这样有效的思考,在写作准备的一开始,激发了学生自主探索 的主动性,为“游记”这个话题铺垫了语言素材的基础,也让学生明确游记要写什 么内容。 (2)分析游记例文,进行写作前的五步指导,明确怎么写。 指导 1:为例文的段落排序,明确游记篇章结构 呈现一篇教师自编的关于新加坡的游记例文,例文分为三段,打乱顺序呈现三 段。请同学思考并分析,排出全文的正确顺序。在分析中,使学生思维层层推进并 - 6 - 明确游记写作的篇章结构。 指导 2:学生小组讨论并总结例文的 mind map (思维导图),梳理写作提纲 通读游记全文,学生小组讨论。在讨论中找到每段的 key words (关键词) ,引 导学生自主逐步总结本篇游记的 mind map (思维导图)。再次梳理游记写作的篇章结 构和写作提纲,为之后的深入写作埋下伏笔。 指导 3:引导学生填写自己的游记 mind map,为自己的写作梳理提纲 学生自由选择游记写作的目的地,根据总结好的游记 mind map 的提示,学生完 成自己的游记 mind map,从而确定之后正式写作的内容、表达的观点或情感。 指导 4:思考:如何将思维导图中的信息连贯表达? 引导学生观察新加坡游记例文中所使用的 temporal conjunction words (连接词) , 使学生了解如何通过连接词,有条理、完整地叙述游记内容。 指导 5:提醒学生写作中要有 polish “美化”文章的意识。 教师呈现新加坡游记例文中个别句子的不同表达方法,使学生品味出哪种表达 更优美。从而使学生有意识地去思考如何增强语言的感染力。思考:“如何 polish 美化自己的游记?” - 7 - 【设计意图设计意图】 通过游记例文呈现、分析和写作前的五步指导,引导学生写作思 维的层层推进。为例文的段落排序,引导学生明确游记的篇章结构;讨论并总结例 文的 mind map,引导学生梳理游记写作的提纲;学生通过填写自己游记的 mind map,确定自我游记写作的提纲和具体内容;确定提纲和具体书写内容后,引导学生 观察例文,思考“如何写”这个问题,本课的重点写作教学策略是 temporal conjunction words (时间连接词)的使用和具有 polish (美化)全文的意识。通过 写作前的五步指导,使学生明确怎样完整有序地叙述游记的内容。 Step 4: While-writing 学生正式写作学生正式写作 正式写作前,呈现写作注意事项 注意事项包括:游记 mind map 中的篇章结构和写作内容、观点和个人情感,还 有过去时态和时间连接词的使用、美化文章的意识。 - 8 - 学生参考写作事项,正式开始写游记。 【设计意图设计意图】 写作需要“趁热打铁” ,要求学生根据写作注意事项写一篇内容 完整、表达连贯、具有美化意识、带有个人真实观点的游记。而写作注意事项的呈 现就是将写作前指导的五步再次让学生熟悉,有目的性、参考性地写作。 Step 5: Post-writing 写作后的分享与评价写作后的分享与评价 (1)Group work 学生小组间互阅游记,并借助由写作注意事项改编的 peer check list 进行互评, 评出小组内最佳游记。 (2)Sharing & Evaluating (分享与评价) 投影小组内的最佳游记习作,教师按照写作注意事项和学生一起评价习作。 【设计意图设计意图】从小组内学生互阅互评到全班分享最佳小组习作,引导学生关注: 可以从对方的写作中获取什么信息、是否篇章结构完整、是否运用 temporal conjunction words 和 polish 的写作策略进行连贯表达和要求更高的优化表达。通过借 助 peer check list 互相检视写作,在发现他人优缺点的同时也能帮助自身及时巩固所 学知识、加深印象,提高自身的写作能力,更体现了写作后分享的快乐。 Step 6: Emotion 通过分享教师家乡洛阳独特的美,引到世界之美。而文字所记录的世界之美, 不胜枚举。作为中学生,学会发现世界之美,用美好的文字记录下来,是一种能力, 也是一种快乐。 - 9 - 【设计意图设计意图】提高写作兴趣,用文字将世界之美、自我感受记录下来。 Step 7: Homework 教师呈现下次课需要讨论的关于“如何描写人物”的一篇例文,学生小组活动, 自主探讨并尝试总结出描写人物类文章的 mind map (思维导图)。
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