1、A piggy is jumping under an apple tree.He gave a jump in the air,twirled,ran a few steps,stopped,looked all around,and sniffed the smells of afternoon.Pausing in the shade of an apple tree,he put his strong snout into the ground and began pushing,digging,and rooting.He felt very happy.-from Charlott
2、es Webvsvs 叙述和描写都是记叙性文章的主要表达方式。叙述叙述(narration)是将事情的前后经过记录下来，主要用来交代人物活动 和事件经过，开展情节。描写描写(description)则指通过各个感官的细节描述，用生动形象的语言把人物、景物的状态具体地描绘出来。1)Her moistened eyes betrayed her unconcerned posture.2)With tears streaming down her face,words failed her.3)She would cry,kick and lie on the floor drumming wit
3、h tears.4)She was crying when she heard the terrible news.5)She rode the rest of the way home wearing a Mona Lisa smile of peace and grace.6)As I stand it back,a huge smile spreads across her face,which lights up my gloomy afternoon.7)I was very angry when I got the news.叙述和描写都是记叙性文章的主要表达方式。叙述叙述(nar
4、ration)是将事情的前后经过记录下来，主要用来交代人物活动 和事件经过，开展情节。描写描写(description)则指通过各个感官的细节描述，用生动形象的语言把人物、景物的状态具体地描绘出来。一篇动人心弦的记叙文离不开生动形象的描写，一篇恰当的读后续写也离不开适当的描写。在读后续写中，要进行恰当的细节描写，选取典型或关键情节、人物与场面辅以对比等修辞技巧进行细节刻画，用具体的细节描写再现自然景色、事物情状，人物形貌及内心世界。【存在问题】【存在问题】The next day,I was on my way to visit her.And I could see the particul
5、ar buildings she had told me and took some photos.As I reached the hospice,the doctor in charge told me that she was healthy and relaxed and where she was.When I went into her room,I found she was sleeping gently,so I put the photos and fresh fruits and flowers on her desk.Saying nothing,I left a no
6、te with my phone number and went out of the hospice.Then I kept on driving a taxi to make a living and spreading my love to others.【优点】故事的逻辑性、完整性和衔接程度没有问题【缺陷】把这片段分解来看，短短94个字包含11个“流水”动作，只有叙述没有描写。The next day,I was on my way to visit her.Along the way,I took photos of every particular building,hoping
7、she would be happy in her remaining life.To my relief,she was there.The moment she caught sight of me,her eyes began to fill with excitement,like the bright in the breaking down,with a radiation of joy.I spent a whole afternoon there and when I was about to leave,she gave me a hug like that(one)I ha
8、d given to her,saying nothing.The warm smile on her face made me feel that it was so fortunate to drive a taxi and meet her,which was more than making a living.【优点】1.故事的逻辑性、完整性和衔接程度没有问题 2.描写与叙述共进 在续写中，要有叙述意识，也要有描写意识。描写和叙述是共进的。叙述的存在能很好地推动故事情节的发展，描写细节也同样不可或缺，它能使写作更有画面感。因此，“双节”（描写的细节和叙述的情节）达到共进是读后续写要解决
9、的关键问题之一。那么，如何使平淡的叙述句子转换成生动形象的描写句子如何使平淡的叙述句子转换成生动形象的描写句子呢？用语言描述出形象、具体的场景，使读者阅读时浮现出电影般的场景。用语言描述出形象、具体的场景，使读者阅读时浮现出电影般的场景。分解动作，增添画面；分解动作，增添画面；Suddenly,a boy ran around the corner and crashed into me before I could jump out of the way.As a result,_.(同学同学A)A)we fell down and the gift box dropped.(同学同学B B
10、)We fell hard to the ground,and my gift box flew from my hands and landed on the street.with a thump 分解动作，增添画面；分解动作，增添画面；添加符合情境的细节描写添加符合情境的细节描写 “It isnt fair!Why did that happen?”Aiden cried._ Aiden cried.His lower lip trembled,his eyes were filled with tears and his hands shook.Eventually,we arrive
11、d home,tired and upset.we plopped down on chairs._(同学同学A)A)The air felt warmer,and the room seemed brighter.(同学同学B)B)The air froze,and the room seemed darker than its supposed to be at dusk.关注词的质感即准确理解词的含义，掌握近义词的区别，理解词的上下义关系等，从而选取最合适、最准确最合适、最准确的词，从而达到细腻细腻描写的效果。As the bell rang,Aiden and I went out o
12、f our DIY classroom,heading to the store where we had our mothers gift picked.“Thats perfect!”said I,holding the gift,“Moms gonna love it,right?”“Absolutely!”Aiden said.rushed outdashing to carefullygiggled 在添加描写时，除增加句子数量外，还可以在添加描写时，除增加句子数量外，还可以来丰富描写。来丰富描写。with;without;at the sight of;upon With tear
13、s streaming down her face,words failed her.He walked away without a backward glance.At the sight of the ferocious wolf,I was seized by a strong sense of horror with my palms sweating.Upon hearing the bad news,she felt seized by a burst of sadness and couldnt help crying bitterly.with;without;at the
14、sight of;upon to do;doing;done She sobbed,hiding her face in her hands.Treated so unfairly,she howled in pain and anger.Tears filling her eyes,she offered her heartfelt gratitude.Her hands shaking,she was on the verge of tears.He smiled,his eyes full of laughter.在添加描写时，除增加句子数量外，还可以在添加描写时，除增加句子数量外，还可
15、以来丰富描写。来丰富描写。心理描写心理描写 Picturing the merry scene of feeding the animals,countless tears lay dormant in her eyes and she now could do nothing but feel the regret burning her heart.副词、形容词副词、形容词 So angry did Sheldon feel that he stormed out of the room,slamming the door furiously behind him.only，as if，l
16、ike，by The pounding in my ears drowned out the rest of the words,only a word here and there filtered through.The sound of my footsteps was accompanied only by the gracefully waving reeds.事物事物作主语作主语 Her eyes gleamed and her fragile face broke into a smile.A gentle smile spread over her face.A smile l
17、ifted the corner of his mouth.A dreamy look came over her face.Excitement took my breath away when he broke the news to me.When he was taking a shower,a brilliant idea suddenly crossed his mind.发现问题发现问题叙述过多，描写太少；混淆叙述和描写分析问题分析问题定义、区别叙述和描写解决问题解决问题 提升描写技能1.关注画面感，构建微段落分解动作添加符合情境的细节描写2.关注词的质感，锤炼句子和段落3.常见
18、的添加描写的微技能通过介词结构借助非谓语独立主格结构动作描写和心理描写相结合添加副词、形容词运用only,as if,like,by等词用事物替代人作主语总总 结结(1)I remember almost going off the road twice as I blinked back the salty water that was burning my eyes and blurring my vision.My hands shook,my heart hurt and my soul felt dead.(2)Mrs.Weasley came to a halt in front
19、of them,her hands on her hips,starting from one guilty face to the next.(3)Filchs pasty face went brick red.Harry braced himself for a tidal wave of fury.Filch hobbled across to his desk,snatched up the envelop and threw it into a drawer.(4)Emmas eyes began to fill with excitement,like the bright in
20、 the breaking down,with a strange radiation of joy.(5)The maple leaf blew in front of him.It was bright red with well-defined veins.The sunlight shone through it,giving it a brilliance never before seen by a little boys eyes.HomeworkHomeworkPlease reflect on what you have learned today and polish your last assignment.
