1、读后续写:请领养我题目阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。I was doing homework with my friend Ollie at his home when he randomly started scribbling(乱画) a fish. But not just any fish. This fish was riding a skateboard and blowing a bubble that said“Id rather be skating!” I laughed and drew a sea star saying“Qu
2、it fooling around and get to work!”Just then, Ollies grandma Abuela and her friend Mr. Goldberg came into the kitchen. Mr. Goldberg was in charge of the local animal shelter. Abuela poured their tea and inquired about how things were going at the animal shelter. Mr. Goldberg sighed, shakinghis head.
3、 He explained that not enough people were adopting pets, resulting in too many animals without homes.Overhearing the conversation, Ollie offered to adopt some excitedly. But Abuela said that one noisy parrot was plenty for this house.“Blue isnt noisy,”defended Ollie.“Hes just musical.”“Id have a who
4、le farm full of animals if I could,”I said.“But my parents say two cats and a hamster(仓鼠) are enough.”Mr. Goldberg said he kept trying to attract people to adopt animals, but found it hard to get peoples attention these days. Ollie drew a sad whale, and I wrote the words“Please adopt me”in the shape
5、 of a whale spout(喷水). Mr. Goldberg took a look at ourdrawings and made favorable comments on them, saying that these clever talking animals just might grab peoples attention. And he asked us if we were willing to design a poster for his animal shelter, a proposal we happily accepted. We decided to
6、draw some ideas on our own and meet up again the next afternoon.That night, when I was sitting in the living room brainstorming ideas for the poster, my little brother brought in our hamster, Mr. Nibbles, to give him a little run-around time. He made a hamster playground out of couch pillows and Mr.
7、 Nibbles began torun around merrily.注意:1.续写词数应为150左右:2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind.We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the stars of the poster写作解析关注时间点“The next afternoon”的处理(可以第一段也可以第二段,合理即可。);关注与段首句一的推进方式/衔接方式。关键点是海报任务的完成闭环,提交给Mr. Goldberg。第一段的续写要注重迁移运用:设计有关仓鼠Mr.
8、 Nibbles的海报,适当结合其特性和喜好,如上文提到的快乐地跑来跑去,好动。海报最好同时包括图案和文字。第一段就要解决We是谁,即我和谁一起做海报,这个人应该是Ollie,因为鹦鹉是他们家的,而且根据上文他与祖母的争论,表现了他对鹦鹉的喜爱(关键特性musical)。既然Ollie是在第一段中出现,注意要有一个契机促使我们选择共同将两只动物画在海报上。第二段具体写我们俩是如何合作完成海报的,适当的互动;还有任务的提交闭环以及与Mr. Goldberg的互动。按照高考的分档,主要考虑:1、情节合理性;2、第一段与第二段之间的合理衔接;3、第二段主题的回归(animal shelter引申出来
9、);4、语言表达(辞藻合理,如过于华丽,文风不符合扣分);5、字数、卷面(学习态度);6、优秀作文不吝高分、低档作文也要适当鼓励;把握合理的区分度。改下来的一些阅卷反馈:1.很多同学在第一段衔接使用why not,但是用错,各种why not did/to do/doing;why not to doing;why we not to;why not we do;why not I did;why not we didnt乱七八糟都有2.拼写问题draw和drew写错3.小的语法错误比较多4.结尾喜欢套句(看到很多篇都是一样的,这样非但不能加分反而会扣分,甚至可以理解为给阅卷老师传达信息,高考
10、是有老师改到自己学生后说漏嘴被处罚的):第一句是experience was like an everlasting flower blooming in my river of memories;第二句是That experience was carved into my mind, and nothing would be able to erase it.【文本分析】这篇文章乍一看和2024年1月首考有异曲同工之妙,也是迁移运用类的。前面出现的重要意象a sad whale,然后写了“Please adopt me” in the shape of a whale spout。根据段首句
11、二得知,后文主要围绕仓鼠和家里的鹦鹉Blue进行展开“我”的构思。文章中出现的人物比较多:我、我的朋友奥利(Ollie)、奥利的祖母(Abuela)、奥利的祖母的朋友戈尔德伯格先生(Mr. Goldberg)、我的弟弟、我们家的仓鼠(Mr. Nibbles)、我们家的鹦鹉(Blue)视角:第一人称线索:奥利的乱画、戈尔德伯格先生对动物收容所情况的讨论、我们决定设计海报的过程,我在家中和弟弟以及仓鼠的互动,以及前文提到的musical的鹦鹉Blue。主题:对待动物的责任和关爱,以及如何通过创意和合作来迁移运用解决问题。【学生习作】Suddenly, an idea formed in my mi
12、nd.With my pen flying on my paper, Mr. Nibbles appeared on it vividly, running around merrily. Appreciating my masterpiece in hand, I couldnt helpdrawmore Mr. Nibbles living in my housejoylyand freely. The nextafteroon, as we met up again, we exchanged our ideas about the poster. Seeing Blue singing
13、 songs, Iburstedintoa laughter. So did Ollie. “Blue who is singing songs is funny!” I pointed at his paper, saying. “Your Mr. Nibbles is interesting as well!” Then, we tried to find a best idea.We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the stars of the poster.With the idea identified, we began to
14、 create our poster. We intended to draw some clever talking animals and both Mr. Nibbles and Blue, passing theeagerof these homeless animals that they wanted to be adopted. As we finished the poster, we dashed into the local animal shelter Mr. Goldberg was in charge of. He praised us andhangthe post
15、er. Later, Mr. Goldbergtoughtus many pets were adopted, thanks to our effortsgrabingpeoples attention.得分20分。整体情节非常流畅自然,虽有诸多小的语法或拼写错误,但是瑕不掩瑜,能在有限的时间里能写出这样的文章,算很出彩了。小错误的修改:draw-but draw;joyly-joyfully;afteroon-afternoon;bursted-burst;a laughter-laughter;eager-eagerness;hang-hung;tought-taught但是这里并不太合适
16、;grabing-grabbing(但是这里要改成to grab)这篇文章该有的情节都写到了,第一段画仓鼠Mr. Nibbles;合理运用the next afternoon,选择交换意见然后合理用上鹦鹉Blue并合理衔接到第二段。第二段写了想法付诸实践,并提交任务给Mr. Goldberg。大体上情节没有问题,美中不足的是没有迁移沿用类似上文提到的words “Please adopt me” in the shape of a whale spout,以及在设计后面的海报时没能特别凸显出两只动物的特点。The polished version:Suddenly, an idea forme
17、d in my mind.With my pen gliding across the paper, Mr. Nibbles materialized before my eyes, running around merrily. Appreciating my masterpiece in hand, I couldnt help but depict more scenes of Mr. Nibbles living in my house joyfully and freely. The next afternoon, as we met up again, we exchanged o
18、ur ideas about the poster. Seeing Blue singing songs, I burst into laughter. So did Ollie. “Blue singing is just funny!” I exclaimed, pointing to his creation. “And your Mr. Nibbles is equally interesting!” Then, together we tried to refine our ideas.We decided to make both Mr. Nibbles and Blue the
19、stars of the poster.With the idea identified, we set to work on bringing our vision to life. Our goal was to draw a group of clever, conversational animals with Mr. Nibbles and Blue in the center, showing the eagerness of these homeless animals that they wanted to be adopted. Upon completing the pos
20、ter, we eagerly dashed into the local animal shelter Mr. Goldberg was in charge of. His face splitting into a smile, he gave us a thumbs-up and promptly displayed the poster. In the days that followed, Mr. Goldberg shared with us the heartwarming news that many pets were adopted and our collaborativ
21、e endeavor paid off.【参考范文】Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind.Why not put Mr. Nibbles on the poster? I eagerly sketched out a design featuring Mr. Nibbles in a playful pose, promoting the joy of pet adoption, “Want a pet to play with? Go get one in the local animal shelter.” I admired my work with g
22、reat satisfaction. The next afternoon, Ollie came over with his notebook. His design was centered on his parrot, Blue, who was singing beautifully “Oh! Be our hero! Give shelter pets a chance to be loved!” We exchanged a smile and engaged in a discussion about the final draft of the poster.We decide
23、d to make both Mr. Nibblesin and Blue the stars of the poster.Combining my playful hamster and Ollies melodious parrot, we created a vibrant and eye-catching design. After adding the final touches, we proudly presented our final creation to Mr. Goldberg. His face lit up as he praised the creativity
24、and heartfelt message behind our design. A couple of months later, Mr. Goldberg shared the exciting news that lots of people had come in after seeing the posters. And some of them decided to donate or adopt! We hadnt expected our poster would cause such a sensation, but we did know our small bit of help would create a meaningful ripple.