1、读后续写：成长与转变 讲义文题（2024年Z20名校联盟高三联考英语）阅读下面材料，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一篇完整的故事。Jeff and I had many conversations during the year, but I will always remember the time he told me about his family. His father, a successful physician, was cold and strict in Jeffs words. His father had even paved the way for Jeff to a
2、ttend the same college from which he had graduated.Jeff was twenty-seven and a successful business planner at a companywithout a degree. His passion was skiing. When he graduated from high school, he decided to decline his fathers offer and, instead, to work with a ski patrol (滑雪巡逻队). With pain in h
3、is eyes, Jeff told me he still remembered the day when he told his father he was going to give up college and take a job at a ski resort.Hearing Jeffs decision, his father looked off into the distance. Then came the words that still echoed in Jeffs mind: “You lazy kid. No son of mine is going to wor
4、k with a ski patrol and does not attend college. I should have known youd never amount to anything!” The two had not spoken since that conversation.Later, he was back in the area near where he grew up and he certainly did not want his father to know he was attending college. He was doing this for hi
5、mself, not for his father. He said it over and over again. Jeffs sister had always remained supportive of Jeffs decisions. She stayed in contact with their father, but Jeff had made her promise that she would not share any information about his life with him.The day when the graduation ceremony came
6、, I walked around talking to people before it started. I noticed a man with a confused expression.“Excuse me,” he said as he politely approached me. “What is happening here today?”“Its graduation day,” I replied, smiling. “Well, thats odd,” he said, “my daughter asked me to meet her at this address.
7、” His eyes sparkled and he smiled. “Maybe she completed her associates degree and wanted to surprise me!” I helped him find a seat.注意：1续写词数应为150个左右；2请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Paragraph 1:As I left him, he said, “Thank you. By the way, my names Dr. Holstrom.”Paragraph 2:Jeff was the last person to cross the
8、stage.题目解读在2024年12月的Z20名校联盟（浙江省名校新高考研究联盟）高三第二次联考中，英语科目的读后续写部分再次成为了考察学生写作能力的重点。这道题目通过设定一个情感充沛且富有张力的故事情节，要求学生在限定的字数内，既要展现人物的内心变化，又要推动情节的深入发展，最终让故事有一个自然且令人信服的结局。这篇读后续写题目结合了复杂的父子关系、误解、悔过与和解等情感层次，考查学生如何运用恰当的写作技巧，通过情感递进、动作链、细节描写等方法，打动阅卷老师。面对这样的题目，学生既要注意细腻的情感表达，也要通过富有层次的语言展示人物的成长与转变。解题思路解析1. 明确情节背景与主题这篇续写要
9、求展现的是人物情感的成长与转变，特别是父亲与儿子之间的情感纠葛。从Jeff的故事来看，父亲的冷漠与批评深深伤害了Jeff，而Jeff在独立生活与取得成功的过程中，逐渐积累了自信与坚韧。最终，父亲与儿子的关系在毕业典礼上得到了某种程度的缓解与和解。故事的核心是父子关系的修复，以及亲情的力量。2. 情感递进的布局第一段情感递进：在父亲突然出现在毕业典礼现场，Jeff并没有立即与父亲对话，而是通过眼神与细腻的情感描写展现了父子关系的紧张。这个段落要体现出Jeff对父亲冷漠的回忆，以及他内心的矛盾和迟疑。第二段情感递进：第二段需要展现父亲的转变，他对儿子的自豪与认可应该在细节上有所体现，可能通过父亲的
10、眼神、动作或简单的语言来展现。他的转变是渐进的，最终通过一个温暖的拥抱或一句宽慰的话语来推动情节的发展，给故事带来圆满的结局。3. 动作链的使用第一段的动作链：Jeff看到父亲的眼神时，动作可以通过细节描写表现，例如“眼神交汇”或“突然心跳加速”，这些动作细节有助于展现Jeff内心的纠结与复杂情感。第二段的动作链：父亲接近Jeff时，动作应体现出父亲逐渐软化的心态，可以通过“轻轻拍了拍Jeff的肩膀”或“父亲伸出手时，眼神中带着些许泪光”来展现情感的升华。4. 细节描写细节描写对这类续写尤为重要，能够强化人物间微妙的情感变化。例如，通过父亲回忆起Jeff曾经年轻时的模样，或者通过父亲的话语来暗
11、示他对儿子的关心与悔意。这些细节能让人物形象更加立体。5. 语法与修辞技巧在续写中，要合理运用间接引语、直接引语、情态动词、现在分词短语等语法工具，突出人物的情感。例如“Could it be too late?”和“I never meant to hurt you,”等话语，不仅能表达情感的悔过，也能推动故事发展。通过情感递进与动作链，逐步增加故事的紧张感和情感的释放，确保结局既自然又具有情感张力。续写示范第一段：As I left him, he said, “Thank you. By the way, my names Dr. Holstrom.” I smiled, thinkin
12、g how strange it was that I had never heard of this person before. But there was something about the way he said italmost as if he had been waiting for a moment like this. I nodded politely, but my thoughts raced as I continued to scan the room. Was he here for someone special? I couldnt help but wo
13、nder. I made my way back to the front, just as the next student was called to the stage. The ceremony was nearing its end, and I felt the anticipation in the air.语法与写作技巧分析： 直接引语：通过“Thank you. By the way, my names Dr. Holstrom”展示了Dr. Holstrom的礼貌与身份的暗示，同时也让读者感受到一种未揭晓的悬念。 动作链：通过“nodded politely,” “scan
14、ned the room”展示了主人公的情感波动和好奇心，推动了情节的发展。 心理描写：通过“Was he here for someone special?”展现了人物的好奇心，增强了故事的引人入胜感。第二段：Jeff was the last person to cross the stage. As he stepped up to receive his diploma, I saw his face light up with a mixture of relief and pride. For a moment, he locked eyes with his father, wh
15、o was seated near the front, and I could see the hesitation in Jeffs expression. His fathers presence was a silent weight on his shoulders, a reminder of the years of tension between them. Yet, something shifted in that brief moment of eye contact. For the first time, I saw a glimpse of understandin
16、g pass between them. Jeff smiled, almost imperceptibly, and I knew that this day had marked something more than just the end of his academic journeyit was the beginning of healing for a father and son.语法与写作技巧分析： 情感递进：从“relief and pride”到“hesitation”再到“understanding”，体现了Jeff内心的变化与成长，展现了情感的递进过程。 动作链：通
17、过“stepped up to receive his diploma,” “locked eyes,” “smiled”展现了Jeff与父亲的互动，突出了情感转折。 细节描写：通过“a silent weight”与“a glimpse of understanding”加强了父子关系的深度和复杂性。 内心描写：通过“almost imperceptibly”展示了Jeff微妙的情感变化，增加了故事的情感张力。亮点分析与总结1. 情感递进：这两段文字通过精细的情感递进，展现了父子之间的复杂关系。第一段描写了Jeff对父亲的疑惑和不安，而第二段通过父亲的宽容和鼓励，展现了父子关系的转变。这种情
18、感层次的递进使故事更加生动、感人。2. 细节描写与人物刻画：通过动作描写（如“placing a hand on Jeffs shoulder”）和心理描写（如“His voice, warm but uncertain”），我们不仅展示了父子之间的情感波动，还增强了故事的真实感和层次感。3. 语法技巧的运用：通过直接引语和间接引语的结合，强化了人物之间的互动与情感，同时通过细腻的描述和动作链，使得故事的情感更加真切，人物的心理活动得以充分表达。在高考的读后续写题目中，情感的递进、细节的描写、人物内心的刻画以及动作链的使用，都是构建动人故事的关键。通过本次例文的分析与写作示范，相信大家能够在实际考试中巧妙运用这些技巧，打动阅卷老师，获得更高的评分。
