1、探索读后续写的艺术美：探索读后续写的艺术美：2020 年年 3 月宁波十校联考为例月宁波十校联考为例 题目和指导题目和指导 阅读下面短文, 根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。 It was a peaceful night. I was sleeping with my brothers, feeling warm and comfortable. Mama was sleeping nearby, covered by snow. Papa was somewhere nearby, watching over us. There was a bright moon and we
2、 had all had a good meal of venison (鹿肉) Papa had caught earlier. “Uncle Louis is coming”, Papa said. We loved Uncle Louis. He was a funny wolf, and always had interesting things to tell us and show us. A little while later, Uncle Louis appeared. We did not approach him with respect the way we appro
3、ached Papa. We flew at him, jumped all over him, and rolled him in the snow. Uncle Louis laughed and patted us with his paws. He is black all over, with yellow eyes, and he is very tall. “Its the longest night of the year” , Uncle Louis said, “Does everyone feel like taking a run through the woods?
4、I want to show you something unusual.” Hearing that, Papa warned that it was dangerous to go near that pack of humans who lived in the woods. “They are hardly dangerous”, Uncle Louis laughed, “They are so clumsy and make so much noise. They are not able to get near usor even see us if we dont want t
5、hem to. Besides, this is their special night. They are quite peaceful and wont be bothering about wolves.” “Oh, please, Papa, let us run through the woods with Uncle Louis and see something unusual! ” We all begged. “It is a fine night”, Papa smiled, “I must admit, I do feel like running.” 注意： 1. 所续
6、写短文的词数应为 150 左右； 2. 至少使用 5 个短文中标有下划线的关键词语； 3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好； 4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。 Paragraph 1 And we were off, all of us, heading towards the woods. Paragraph 2 We stopped and sat on a hillside and below us was the humans place. 分析故事：分析故事： 人物 Papa: humans are dangerous Uncle Louis: a fu
7、nny wolf My brother and I: never see humans 环境 Moon, star, winter night, peaceful 主要情 节 I want to show you something unusual. 这个分析可以看出来： 故事主旨应该是平和的，根据 peaceful 可以看出来，所以不适合写人和狼发生激 烈的冲突。 写作步骤：写作步骤： 一、抓主旨下的矛盾一、抓主旨下的矛盾 Conflict: find the unusual thing Solution: celebrate with the humans 二、抓凸显矛盾解决的结尾二、抓凸
8、显矛盾解决的结尾 结尾：以景结情，情景交融，呼应主题 That unusual night, the harmonious noise, I remembered, went over the hill and further to the moon. 我记得那个不寻常的夜晚，这和谐的噪音越过树林，传得那么远，远到了月亮之 上。 主题词：unusual, moon 三、抓主要动作：三、抓主要动作：Action and Response 一个故事的 action 尽量用 3-5 句概括，三句是最理想的，情节越简单，细节就越 丰富。 结合两段开头，我们可以猜测动作： And we were off
9、, all of us, heading towards the woods. 1、We dashed. 2、We saw humans.（看到人后，应该就要停下来，这样是衔接的） We stopped and sat on a hillside and below us was the humans place. 3、We joined in their activity. 关键是最后一个 action，如何实现？我想起了和狼共舞电影，邓巴围着篝火 跳舞，一个人在野外，远处是一个狼静静看着。后来，这只狼成为他的好朋友。这个 电影对我触动很大，人和狼不一定就必须是你死我活的零和博弈。另外绿皮书
10、电 影中的黑人走进酒吧弹琴，大家侧目静看，然后爆发雷鸣般掌声，让我写出了这样的 结尾。 有时候，我真的发现，多看经典电影，多思考导演为什么这样安排，对我们写作 有很大的促进。 四、抓环境描写和情感变化四、抓环境描写和情感变化 环境的描写重在景和情要完全融合，我这样安排： 景色景色 情感变化情感变化 The moon washed the woods in a gentle light.The stars twinkled like a childs curious eyes blinking with anticipation. 期待（anticipation） 好奇（curious） The
11、 chilling wind suddenly sent waves of nervousness coursing through me. 紧张（nervous） With this, we sped up, the piercing crunch of the snow under our feet rippling through the air and sending the birds fluttering among the trees. 期待 But Indulging in their happiness, my brother cannot 开心（happy） help ho
12、wling. Suddenly, total silence descended on the hillside. All the humans looked at us in terror, and so did us. 恐惧（terror） Unexpectedly, a roar of laughter broke out and then the celebration went on more enthusiastically. 开心 说明： 这个句子：At this, we sped up, the piercing crunch of the snow under our fee
13、t rippling through the air and sent the birds crashing through the trees. 我想到了李清照的词： 常记溪亭日暮，沉醉不知归路。常记溪亭日暮，沉醉不知归路。 兴尽晚回舟，误入藕花深处。兴尽晚回舟，误入藕花深处。 争渡，争渡，惊起一滩鸥鹭。争渡，争渡，惊起一滩鸥鹭。 汉语诗歌对写作也有很多启发，写景重在意境，心中有画，此为大美。 景色描写对于月亮星星描写，我是直接把 moon， star 在各种大辞典里查，我认 为词典里里的描写都是通俗易懂的，不至于高不可攀，具有普遍适应性。 我的下水文： And we were off, a
14、ll of us, heading towards the woods. The moon washed the woods in a gentle light. The stars twinkled like a childs curious eyes blinking with anticipation. The chilling wind suddenly sent waves of nervousness coursing through me. “Are we going to meet the dangerous humans?” I felt my sound quivering
15、. “Relax. We are seeing the unusual thing.” Uncle Louis smiled. With this, we sped up, the piercing crunch of the snow under our feet rippling through the air and sending the birds fluttering among the trees. Shortly, a big bonfire came into view. We stopped and sat on a hillside and below us was th
16、e humans place. Now, not far away, around the bonfire are dancing many humans, hand in hand. Papa warned us not to startle them. But Indulging in their happiness, my brother cannot help howling. Suddenly, total silence descended on the hillside. All the humans looked at us in terror, and so did us.
17、My brother, not knowing what happened at all, imitated their dancing clumsily. Unexpectedly, a roar of laughter broke out and then the celebration went on more enthusiastically. That unusual night, the harmonious noise, I remembered, went over the hill and further to the moon. 官方范文是对故事作者的原文的删改，尤其是景色
18、描写和结尾艺术非常值得细细 感悟，请读者一定不要放过： Paragraph 1 And we were off, all of us, heading towards the woods. It was almost midnight. The snow felt crispy and crunchy under our feet. The moon shone silver on my brothers fur, and the stars were as bright as diamonds. As we dashed through the woods, we breathed the
19、cold air deep into our lungs, feeling refreshed. With Papa and Uncle Louis leading the way, I felt strong and light as though I could run forever. Then we smelled something nice. Paragraph 2 We stopped and sat on a hillside and below us was the humans place. It was the first time my brothers and I h
20、ad ever approached those wooden things, which, according to Uncle Louis, were made by putting pieces of wood together. We didnt see any humans, but we could hear them singing together inside the wooden things with warm light shining out through the holes. It was peaceful. I thought, “Even if they are dangerous, they are animals, just like we are.” Then we threw back our heads and sitting on the hillside above the place where the humans live, we wolves sang, too, on this unusual night.
