1、Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus男人来自火星，女人来自金星Talk about men and women很少人能够真正随着爱情成长，但不容否认，确实有人能够做到。只有当男人和女人能够尊重和接受彼此的不同，爱情才有机会繁盛。 Very few people, indeed, are able to grow in love. Yet, it does happen. When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance t
2、o blossom. Remembering Our Differences1.女人对男人最常见的抱怨是，男人不肯倾听。The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men dont listen.2.男人对女人最常见的抱怨，是女人总是企图要改变他们。The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them.原因在于二者的价值观不同：原因在于二者的
3、价值观不同：mensandwomensvaluesareInherentlydifferentAbout Men1.他们对“物体”和“事情”比较有兴趣，对人们与感觉比较没兴趣。 The men are more interested in objects and things rather than people and feelings. 2.完成目标对男人很重要因为那是他证明能力与自我满足的方法 Achieving goals is very important to a man it is a way for him to provehis competence and thus fee
4、l good about himself.why men resist so much being corrected or being told what to do. To offer a man advice is to presume that he doesnt know what to do or that he cant do it on his own.However, if he truly does need help, then it is a sign of wisdom to get it.About Women1.女人重视爱、沟通、美与关系。沟通对她们最重要。分享个
5、人感觉比完成目标和成功更重要。Women value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feelings is much more important than achieving goals and success.2.因为女人不认为证明能力是件多了不起的事，所以她们认为提供帮助并非唐突，请求帮助也不算能力不足。 proving ones competence is not as important to
6、 a Venusian, offering help is not offensive, and needing help is not a sign of weakness.3.尊敬别人的方法是耐心倾听，感同身受地了解对方的感觉A way of honoring others is to listen patiently with empathy, seeking truly to understand the others feelings.WomenGive up giving adviceMenLearning to listen Men go to their Caves and W
7、omen TalkMEN: After the men learned how to listen they made a most amazing discovery.They began to realize that listening to a woman talk about problems could actually help them come out of their irritation in the same way as watching the news on TV or reading a newspaper.Women:When the men were goi
8、ng into their caves, the men also did not take it personally. they finally understood that a men going into his cave was not a sign that he didnt love her as much. When do men and women feel themselves to love and to be loved? 当男人觉得被需要时，他会被激发，充满动力 当女人觉得受珍爱时，她会被鼓舞，充满动力。Not to be needed is a slow deat
9、h for a man.It is difficult to be motivated when he is not needed.She needs to feel she is not alone. She needs to feel loved and cherished.What Men NeedWhat Women NeedTrustCaringAcceptanceUnderstanding AppreciationRespect AdmirationDevotion ApprovalValidationEncouragementReassurance Thank you ! It
10、is never too late to increase the love in your life. If you want to have more fulfilling relationships with the opposite sex, this template is for you. May you always grow in wisdom and in love. I wish in the future few people will get divorced and more people will get married . Whats more, the chil
11、dren of these married people will obtain a better life.About love letter Whyweneedtowriteloveletter? Loveletter I. Write a Love Letter expressing your feelings of anger, sadness, fear, regret, and love. 2. Write a Response letter expressing what you want to hear from your partner. 3. Share your Love
12、 Letter and Response Letter with your partner.一、写一封表达你的气愤、伤心、害怕、后悔和爱的感觉的情书。二、写一封表达你想听听另一半说什么的回应信。三、和另一半分享你的情书和回应信。Why we write love letter The different ways men and women hide feelings are discussed along with the importance of sharing feelings. The Love Letter Technique is recommended for expressi
13、ng negative feelings to your partner, as a way of finding greater love and forgiveness. After writing your letter you may no longer feel a need to talk. Instead you could become inspired to do something loving for your partner. Whether you share the feelings in your letter or you just write a letter
14、 to feel better, writing down your feelings is an important tool.Talk about love letterSTEP I: writing A LOVE LETTER (写情书) Here are some guidelines for writing a basic Love Letter:I. Address the letter to your partner. Pretend that he or she is listening to you with love and understanding.2. Start w
15、ith anger, then sadness, then fear, then regret, and then love. Include all five sections in each letter.3. Write a few sentences about each feeling; keep each section approximately the same length. Speak in simple terms.4. After each section, pause and notice the next feeling coming up. Write about
16、 that feeling.5. Do not stop your letter until you get to the love. Be patient and wait for the love to come out.6. Sign your name at the end. Take a few moments to think about what you need or want. Write it in a P.S.1.读情书给另一半听，假设他正以爱和了解听你读信。2.每封信包括五种感觉，先是气愤，再来是伤心、害怕、后悔，最后是爱。3.用一些简单明了的句子描述每种感觉，保持五种
17、感觉的句子长度相等。4.每写完一种感觉，停一下，让下一个感觉涌上，然后写下那感觉。5.爱的感觉没出来以前不要停止写信，耐心地等待爱出现。6.在信末署名。再想想你需要什么，写入附注。Here are some templates to simplify writing your letters （模板） I. For Anger I Dont like it. I feel frustrated . I am angry that . I feel annoyed . I want. 1.表达气愤我不喜欢我觉得沮丧我气我觉得困扰我要 2. For Sadness I feel disappoin
18、ted. I am sad that. I feel hurt . I wanted . I want. 2.表达伤心 我感到失望 令我伤心 我觉得受到伤害 我要 3. For Fear I worried. I am afraid . I feel scared . I do not want. I need . I want . 3.表达害怕 我烦恼 我害怕 我惶恐 我不要 我要 4. For Regret I Feel embarrassed. I am sorry. I feel ashamed . I didnt want . I want. 4.表达后悔 我感到害羞 我很抱歉 令我
19、羞愧 我不要 我要5. For Love I Love I want. I understand . I forgive. I appreciate . I thank you for. I know. 5.表达爱 我爱 我要 我了解 我原谅 我感激 我谢谢你 我知道STEP 2: writing A RESPONSE LETTER (写回应信)写下希望从对方那里得到的回应。 writing a Response Letter is the second step in the Love Letter Technique. Once you have expressed both your n
20、egative and positive feelings, taking an additional three to five minutes to write a Response Letter can be a healing process. In this letter, you will write the kind of response you would like to have from your partner. It works like this. Imagine that your partner is able to respond lovingly to yo
21、ur hurt feelings the ones you expressed in your Love Letter. Write a short letter to yourself pretending it is your partner writing to you. Include all the things you would like to hear from your partner about the hurts you have expressed. 方法是，想像你的伴侣非常有爱心地回应你在情书中表达的受伤的感觉。写一封信给自己，假装那是对方的回应信。信中包含所有你希望
22、从配偶口中听来的关于你所表达的伤害的事 。The following leading in phrases can get you started: Thank you for. I understand . I am sorry. You deserve. I want . I love . 谢谢你 我了解 抱歉 我要 我爱 STEP 3 SHARING YOUR LOVE LETTER AND RESPONSE LETTER （分享你的情书和回应信）Sharing your letters is important for the following reasons: It gives y
23、our partner an opportunity to support you. It allows you to get the understanding you need. It gives your partner necessary feedback in a loving and respectful way. It motivates change in a relationship. It creates intimacy and passion. It teaches your partner what is important to you and how succes
24、sfully to support you. It helps couples to start talking again when communication breaks down. It teaches us how to hear negative feelings in a safe way. 可给你伴侣支持你的机会。 允许你获得自己需要的支持。 以爱与尊重的方式给与伴侣必要的回馈。 可促进关系的改善。 可教导你的伴侣知道什么对你最重要，也可教导他如何成功的支持你。 沟通破裂时，可帮助伴侣再交谈。 可教导我们如何以安全的方式来听消极的感觉。 写与分享情书的意图写与分享情书的意图St
25、atementofIntentforwritingandSharingaLoveLetter 我写这封信是为了发现我的积极感觉和给你应得的爱，在这过程里，我分享了令我沮丧的消极感觉。 I have written this letter in order to find my positive feelings and to give you the love you deserve. As part of that process I am sharing with you my negative feelings, which are holding me back. 你的了解将帮助我敞开
26、心灵赶走消极感觉。我相信你在乎，你会尽力回应我的感觉。我感激你愿意倾听我、支持我。 Your understanding will help me to open up and let go of my negative feelings. I trust that you do care and that you will respond to my feelings of the best way you can. I appreciate your willingness to listen and support me. 另外，我希望这封信能帮助你了解我的需求和愿望。 In addit
27、ion I hope that this letter will assist you in understanding my wants, needs, and wishes.听情书的意图（听情书的意图（Thepartnerwhoishearingtheletterneedstolisteninthespiritofthefollowingstatementofintent.）StatementofIntentforHearingaLoveLetter 我保证尽力了解你的感觉，接受我们的差异，感激你尽力传达你的感觉和爱。 I promise to do my best to understa
28、nd the validity of your feelings, to accept our differences, to respect your needs as I do my own, and to appreciate that you are doing your best to communicate your feelings and love.我保证会倾听你的感觉，不纠正也不否认。我保证接受你，不试着改变你。 I promise to listen and not correct or deny your feelings. I promise to accept you
29、 and not try to change you.我乐意倾听你的感觉，因为我相信我们可以重修旧好。 I am willing to listen to your feelings because I do care and I trust that we can work this out.这些精神意图可帮助你记住尊重伴侣的感觉，以爱且安全的方式回应。刚开始练习情书技巧时，若能将这两种意图读出来，写情书会比较安全。 The first few times you practice the Love Letter Technique it will be much safer if you actually read these statements out loud. These statements of intent will help you remember to respect your partners feelings and respond in a loving, safe way. Thank you！
