1、 With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, saying“Thank you” and walked towards the door.Pappy thought of his daughter and said to the girl loudly, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars. After
2、thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said,“Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child went out, holding the special bell in her hand.Grade the story Grade the story Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He coul
3、dnt believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Then Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. She said to Pappy
4、, “Hello, Dad.”How to polish your story?润色文章的技巧 技 巧1. 使用较高级的词汇2. 使用较丰富的句式3. 使用恰当的连接词proper conjunctionsabundant sentence patterns advanced words and phrasesHow to polish your words?“小小”心思心思丰满人物内心丰满人物内心 Inner thoughts to portray the figures“小小”词汇词汇增加表达效果增加表达效果 Detailed verbs to make expressions power
5、ful “小小”细节细节丰富故事情节丰富故事情节 Proper adv to enrich your story Tip1：“小小”心思心思丰满人物内心丰满人物内心悲伤悲伤快乐快乐20162016年年1010月高考作文月高考作文 2323分分Tip1：“小小”心思心思丰满人物内心丰满人物内心震惊震惊20172017年年6 6月高考作文月高考作文 2323分分One day, the Brother, who had become a One day, the Brother, who had become a Monk, forced himself on the same road Monk
6、, forced himself on the same road where he found accommodation years ago. where he found accommodation years ago. He decided to visit the family. He decided to visit the family. But the shabby cottage was nowhere to But the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid be found. H
7、e only found a splendid house. house. He thought the family might He thought the family might die. die. Suddenly, a man came out. The monk Suddenly, a man came out. The monk recognized him. It was the father of recognized him. It was the father of the family. So he asked, “ Have you the family. So h
8、e asked, “ Have you lived here?”lived here?”Tip1：“小小”心思心思丰满人物内心丰满人物内心One day, the Brother, who had become a One day, the Brother, who had become a Monk, forced himself on the same road Monk, forced himself on the same road where he found accommodation years ago. where he found accommodation years ag
9、o. Driven by a sense of regret, Driven by a sense of regret, he decided to he decided to visit the family. visit the family. To his great surprise, To his great surprise, the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. the shabby cottage was nowhere to be found. He only found a splendid house. He only f
10、ound a splendid house. Upon Upon thinking the family might have starved to thinking the family might have starved to death, death, he sighed with guilt. he sighed with guilt. Suddenly, a Suddenly, a man came out. The monk recognized him. It man came out. The monk recognized him. It was the father of
11、 the family. So he asked, was the father of the family. So he asked, “ Have you lived here?”“ Have you lived here?”Tip1：“小小”心思心思丰满人物内心丰满人物内心Lets compare！ He decided to He decided to visit the family. visit the family. But the shabby But the shabby cottage was cottage was nowhere to be nowhere to be
12、found. He only found. He only found a splendid found a splendid house. house. He He thought the family thought the family might die.might die. Driven by a sense Driven by a sense of regret, of regret, he decided he decided to visit the family. to visit the family. To his great To his great surprise,
13、 surprise, the shabby the shabby cottage was nowhere cottage was nowhere to be found. He only to be found. He only found a splendid found a splendid house. house. Upon Upon thinking the family thinking the family might have starved to might have starved to death, death, he sighed with he sighed with
14、 guilt. guilt. In conclusionIn conclusion，the description of inner the description of inner thoughts can make our story thoughts can make our story more logical, more logical, reasonable, creativereasonable, creative and and powerful.powerful.How to describe your inner feelings?1. Feeling happy/sad/
15、angry/guilty/depressed,2. Driven by curiosity/a sense of regret/sympathy.或者是 Deeply touched/ moved by3. ., full of regret/anger/fear/gratitude/sadness4. To ones disappointment/surprise/delight/relief/ astonishment5. in surprise/relief/anger 或者是with satisfaction/excitement(等于一个副词）6. 具体的动作描写 stand fro
16、zen, jump with joy, tremble with anger, with tears filling ones eyes, with ones eyes wide open 等等Lets have a try!1. Pappy said to the girl, “How much have you got to spend?” Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl, “How much have you got to spend?”2. The child walked out, holding the s
17、pecial bell in her hands. The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hands.3. Then Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?”Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?”4. She said to Pappy, “Hello, Dad.”Wit
18、h tears filling her eyes, she said to Pappy cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.” With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, saying “Thank you” and walked towards the door.Pappy thought of his daughter . Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl loudly, “How
19、much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.La
20、ter that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldnt believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.”
21、said the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. Tears filling her eyes, she said to Pappy cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.”Tip 2：“小小”词汇词汇增加表达效果增加表达效果Brainstorming:telltell saysaywhisperwhisper murmurmurmur speakspeaktalktalk cry cry outout shoutshout respondrespond replyr
22、eply explainexplain screamscream roarroar announceannounce declaredeclare yell call out call out The government _ a state of emergency. “Get out of my house!” The officer _.He _ something in his sleep.Seeing the film star, the fans _ with excitement.Asked why he was late, Alex _ that his car had bro
23、ken down. Tip 2：“小小”词汇词汇增加表达效果增加表达效果declared declared roared roared murmured murmured screamed screamed explained explained 1. The girl forced a smile, saying “Thank you.” and turned towards the door.2.Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy said to the girl loudly , “How much have you got to spend, Mi
24、ssy?”Lets have a try!Lets have a try!murmuring murmuring called out called out 3. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy said, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky Day.”4. “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” said the child. 5. Tears filling her eyes, she said cheerfully, “Hello,
25、Dad.”announcedannouncedexplainedexplainedcried outcried outWhat you are supposed to bear in mind:只要是记叙文，难以逃脱的动作描写肯定有，动嘴，动手与动脚。除了熟知各种说的表达方式外，请记住各种看，和各种走Eg: see, watch, observe, peep, look around, look back, stare at, glare at, glance at, catch sight of, lose sight of, etcEg: walk, run, wander, dash,
26、stroll around, pace back and forth, step into, make ones way to, dance out, etc 1. She forced a smile, murmuring “Thank you” and walked towards the door.2 The child went out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.3. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman walked in. Ti
27、p 2：“小小”词汇词汇增加表达效果增加表达效果make her way to make her way to danced out danced out stepped in stepped in With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, murmuring “Thank you” and made her way to the door.Pappy thought of his daughter. Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pap
28、py called out, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy announced, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs two dollars.” The child danced out with great joy, holding the
29、special bell in her hand.Later that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldnt believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma say
30、s the present is for you.” explained the child. Before Pappy had time to say another word, a young woman stepped in. Tears filling her eyes, she cried out cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.” Topic：a shocking knife attack From Book 5 Unit5First Aid Anne Slade, mother of three, had been stabbed _ with a knife.
31、She was lying in her front garden bleeding very _. Her hands had _ been cut off.Tip 3：“小小”细节细节丰富故事情节丰富故事情节 repeatedlyrepeatedly heavilyheavily almost almost With a giant tear in her eye, the little girl looked up at him. She forced a smile, murmuring“Thank you” and made her way to the door. _, Pappy
32、 thought of his daughter. Driven by a sense of sympathy, Pappy called out, “How much have you got to spend?” Hearing this, the little girl counted money in her purse-two dollars_. After thinking for a few seconds, Pappy announced, “Today is Christmas Day and this is your lucky day. The bell costs _
33、two dollars.” The child danced out with great joy, holding the special bell in her hand.SuddenlySuddenlyaltogethealtogether rexactlyexactlyLater that evening when Pappy was closing up the shop, he heard a familiar ringing. He couldnt believe his ears. The girl stood in the doorway, ringing the bell happily. Feeling puzzled, Pappy got close to her and asked, “Have you changed your mind, Miss?” “ No. My Momma says the present is for you.” explained the little girl. Then, her mother stepped in. Tears filling her eyes, she cried out cheerfully, “Hello, Dad.”
